Please help......I am going to the Memorial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by whyamihere 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  whyamihere

  Ok I don't know if most of you know me...............

  I am going to the memorial because I am still confused and stressed and discombobulated on the JW issue.

  I know in my heart it is "NOT" the truth. My family keeps stopping by unannouced and seeing if I am going. I am going because I am not ready to be completely shunned by my family. I need advice on what to say if they say "We are so glad you are here." What do I say?

  Is there anything I can say? Like the reason I am not going is because of this:.....?

  I am scared loosing my mind stressed where I and shaking and crying. I want to throw up! I can't sleep nor eat I am so nervous. Please help me in way you can. Give me some Heart warming answers that do not make me look Angry and unloving. I want them to get the point but in a way that doesn't make me look bad and angry at the world and Satan has me in his grasp. If you know what I mean.

  Thank you all!

  Brooke
• 

  minimus

  So go. It's ok. Don't do ANYTHING until you're ready!!!!! If they say, "Nice to see you". Say, Thanks. It's nice to see you, too"......Rome wasn't built in a day!
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  Tuesday

  I had a memorial expirience like that, it was 2 years after I left that I returned to go to the memorial. I was totally creeped out by everything and I was so nervous when I was there I was shaking. When you go just look at it with a critical eye, and see everyone for what they are. You don't have to see anyone that you don't want to, you could get there late, sit in the back then leave before the final prayer is done. That way you wouldn't have to speak with anyone, I know that would've done me a world of good if I could've gotten away without speaking to anyone.
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  Big Dog

  Brooke, the first thing you need to do is breathe, nice and slow. If I was in your position and didn't want to burn any bridges I think I would do my best to give very vague answers to prying questions about where you have been, busy, not feeling well, oh I've been around you just haven't noticed, whatever you can live with and that will deflect the question, or just smile and shrug, bat your eyes and mumble something like oh around. And use one of their favorite tactics, ask another question on a completely different tangent to redirect the conversation.

  Don't let them see how nervous you are either, keep it all very low key and vague and bolt the first second you can. I would also come as late as possible before it starts.
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  schne_belly

  Hang in there. I am going this year too. It'll be my last time as part of the fading process. We all have to go in our own time. As for what to say - hmm. Try questioning your family as to what it was that Jesus asked us to do. To which the response will be "keep doing this in remembrance of me." Than you say, "Doing what?" The correct response would be partake, but JW's wont say that. Then ask if we really are doing what Jesus was telling us to do.

  Just a thought. I'm sure you'll do fine
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  heathen

  I think you could go but leave around the time they start passing stuff around and look like idiots , That's usually toward the end . Jesus said take this cup and bread to eat not look at like an idiot anyway .
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  integ

  Brooke,

  I would say "Hi. Nice to see you too" And then suddenly look in the other direction as if you see someone you know, then walk in that direction. Then act like you saw someone leaving and act like you want to catch them before they get to their car. Then when you are outside, scurry as fast as you can to your car. I have a lot of experience in this.

  Integ.
• 

  TresHappy

  Be nice and smile, smile, smile. And save your gag reflex until you're behind the stall in the ladies restroom.
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  Effervescent

  I agree with the others in that a simple "thanks" in response to their welcomes should be good enough. I feel your pain in being shoved into this situation. But also I think Tuesday is on the right track. Turn this whole thing into an opportunity to really look at things critically. It's amazing how different the view is without your blinders on.

  Then you can come back and report to us.

  Think of it as your "Mission Impossible".... without the whole hanging from the ceiling thing... Although in a skirt Im sure some of the brothers would appreciate it....
• 

  Emma

  You'll be just fine. If you have to go, just say as little as possible. They can't possibly hurt you, no one can read your mind. If someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, just tell them you're not feeling well and can't discuss it now. If someone wants to set up an appointment, repeat you're not well, don't have your calendar with you, etc, and thank them. You can repeat to yourself silently, everything will be all right.

  Take care!