The Best Response To Memorial Invites?

by dawn27 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • dawn27
    dawn27

    They will not give up!! I live a ways away from my old congregation and I work with a couple of active witnesses who know I'm inactive. So, I've been bombarded with phone calls and asked by my co-workers to go to the memorial. If I was df'd, I would have no problem explaining why I am not going (it is a cult recruiting night that they put Jesus name on). Because I am inactive, though, I have a hard time up and saying that, because I don't want an elder's visit and I still have to work with these people. Does anyone have a good response to "why" you don't go that does not get you df'd? I can't believe how judgemental they are. It is one frickin night. One sister at work didn't even ask if I was going, she said "What time are you going to the memorial?" All I said was "If I go, I'll attend with my family". They live a few hours away and I'm sure she probably knew it was a cop-out.

    If I did go, it would give my family a false hope that I was coming back and it is "associating" with the congregation so I would be probably be asked to a judicial meeting. So, that's not an option. By not going, the co-workers can act better than and self-righteous and my family will be upset with me for the third year in a row. It's a no-win situation. I hate this cult!!! Any advice?

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    You are in a really tough spot working with dubs and doing the fade. From their perspective they think they are saving you from eternal damnation. I have no idea what you could say that would be better than saying you are going with your family.

    GBL

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    Say "No, Thanks I am Full!"

    Brooke

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    How about, "Guess what? I'm a big girl, and I'm capable of going to the memorial without 50 people nagging me about it every day. Mind your own business!"

    It's direct. Some might call it rude, but during my 20 years as a JW I found that rudeness was often the only way I could get them to shut their stupid mouths. Most of them are to stupid to comprehend anything else.

    Walter

  • bebu
    bebu

    Why not say, "Why sure, I'll come!!"

    Then... don't! Be passive aggressive. What are they going to do?? Can they df you for not going??

    You could always use Steve Martin's guaranteed excuse on how to get out of paying taxes on a million dollars: "I forgot!" (In my case, because my short-term memory is such swiss cheese, those who know me would believe me if I said it!!)

    ...Kinda ironic, though, to forget a 'memorial'...!

    bebu

  • Bluegrass Tom
    Bluegrass Tom

    My advice is that the less said the better. I find this to be true for most things in life.

    If they ask you when your memorial is say, 8:00 PM and leave it at that (If the hall is shared, tonight one will be at 6:30, the next at 8:00 PM). All you are saying is an hour of the day. You are not confirming attendance, or anything else. Use some reverse "theocratic warfare". Smile and be unspecific. They are not entitled to know anything.

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    "Thank you. I appreciate the invite. Thank you again."

    Thank you doesn't imply you are or are not going. No one feels offended at Thank you. Leave it at that. Walk away. Change the subject. Just don't say yes or not, it's none of their business.

  • the_classicist
    the_classicist

    Well, if you want to be offensive, you could try this old goodie:

    Thanks! I always need more toilet paper!

  • Effervescent
    Effervescent

    You can always just tell them that you wanted to go but it conflicts with your Satanist's Convention.

    heh, not really, but I go along with Bebu's thinking. Tell them you're going with your family and then just stay home with a good movie. You could get more out of watching "Passion of the Christ" anyways.

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool
    Well, if you want to be offensive, you could try this old goodie:
    Thanks! I always need more toilet paper!

    heh heh. You've just given me a reason to attend. I'm running low on toilet paper. Walter

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