Thanx. Its all a learning experience. I feel like I am a teenager just finding out who life really operates. I am slowly but surely building a network of genuine friends. And they know my background which I think is important so they understand me better.
Under 74 - Thankyou. Reading posts from other members with similar experiences can be very therapeutic
Black Sheep - Observation of how people operate in the real world certainly helps. Its hard not to be envious of your neighbours leading such functional lives at times!!
Hubert - Thanks for your support. I am very lucky to have such a great guy in my life. It?s certainly started me off in the right direction towards normality. Its also helped me develop some self esteem which I don't think I had before knowing that I'm good enough for someone. He is slowly but surely also training me to not let people treat me like a doormat. I hope that all is okay with your daughter and that the door to communication between the two of you always stays open.
Nancy Drake - You understand too. You leave the organisation and you have that underlying fear that they were always right and that everyone outside of the dubs is sad and lonely. What a lie that turned out to be. I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. I wish I had the confidence to DA myself but I know I would lose my mother and brother in the process. However you have a beautiful son. If I had a child I would want to give them everything that I had been denied growing up. Feeling sorry for myself has happening on a less frequent basis.
DragonLady - Thanx for the invite. I will make sure I drop into Chat.
JustTickledPink - The first step was the hardest of all. Every sequential step I will take now will be so much easier knowing that I have others in the same position as myself.
Taylor S - I feel for you growing up. I too was the bookish kid. I had trouble making friends our family being the only JW's in the school and found sanctuary in the school library. Clothes were hand me downs. Sports was certainly not encouraged so I sucked at that. Plus I developed that piggish snobbish "I'm right your all wrong" dub attitude as well. None of this gained me any friends. Taylor I hope that you continue to find the confidence to connect with people. You have reached out to me and frankly I think that shows a beautiful aspect of your personality. Thank you.
Mamacat - Its strange when you get told over and over not to be cliquish just how cliquish the organisation is. People can be extremely insensitive. Fancy showing you a scrapbook of events you were not included in...
Sobeit - Being well read is something I can say I am. I found my only solace in books. I love reading and its my favourite pastime for relaxing or escaping. Its a learning experience to find that there is nothing sinful about independent thinking. Not at all preaching, your thoughts and input is very much appreciated.
Thanks everyone. In a moment of despair I spilled my guts on the www. But you have all been very understanding and welcoming.
XX
Remembering growing up as a JDub hurts...
by misspeaches 13 Replies latest jw experiences
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misspeaches
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Soledad
misspeaches your life sounds exactly like a page in my history. welcome!
I have my moments when I feel really angry and sad at the same time. just yesterday I had a really bad day, all I could do was lay in bed and kind of feel sorry for myself.
the good news is that it gets better. it's really a big comfort to know that so many others know exactly what I've been through and how it feels.
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the_classicist
I am a social retard. Anyone else have the problem where you are almost unable to make social conversation? Like, the words don't come out of your mouth b/c you don't know what to say?
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misspeaches
Hi Soledad. Reading this forum certainly helps to realise you are not alone in your experiences and subsequent feelings. I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad day yesterday. I hope that this is temporary and you will be bouncing back soon. Thanks for your welcome!