Ok, I have not had a lot of experience with death and the one loved one...really loved like a brother ...person that passed in 2002 was my first close, hurt your heart friend to go. So This last year, maybe year and a half, I have worked with the same 14 to 16 people.
Between all of us we have had at least twenty loved ones die, and one of our group that I sat next to for 4 years died. So Was it two weeks ago, I lost an old co-worker, and then a few days later another.
Now then as if that is not enough...I had a third acquaintance die last week and was dis-invited to the memorial.
So with this said and death being a very volotile subject with me.... I get yet another call tonight. An older lady who lived next to me for years and is my "adopted" moms best friend for 20 years has died a few minutes ago. She brought me homeade soup and baked bread for the kiddos and I when I was DF'ed the second time. I just saw her At the beginning of the year and had the longest hug from her.
Now mind you my Gammie, her best friend, is in the hospital dying and was told 3 months ago that she had 2 months to live. She is in a friggin hospital bed and bleeding internally. But tough old bat that she is ...she is hanging on. So now, I have to call her when her meds wear off tomorrow and comfort this loved one who is going to die any day also.
So does anybody besides me find this just blooming mind numbing. I feel kind of in shock. It is too much at once and I feel my brain shutting down. This is a moment when a person really needs hels, and here I sit doing homework, taxes, chatting and trying to become an alcoholic for the night. But unfortunately, I am wound too tight to let anything reduce this stress level.