Did The Elders Treat You With Respect & Love???

by minimus 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    No!

    u/d

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong

    Hell No. For the most part, they were all self-righteous jerks who don't
    know anything about leadership.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    The elders in the congregation I attend respect me only because I'll tell them where the dog died quick, and I won't beat around the bush about anything. So they walk a fine line with me.

    I know they harass my husband about my comments and other behavior and I see how frustrated my poor husband is about it. Sometimes I feel so bad for him.

    DY

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    My take on this issue mirrors the majority here; I remember a few good ones but as Blondie said they find themselves being treated badly themselves by the more predatorial ones. Absolutely spot on...

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    Being born into a jw family, I experienced the time before there were elders and after.

    They were mostly a non entity as far as I was concerned, until they insisted that I become one. They did insist and I was reluctant.

    During that time their behaviour and usefulness, ran the gamut from mentally disturbed to very inteligent, not caring to very caring, helpful to hateful, sensible to no sense at all forgiving to vindictive.

    Those that were caring and intelligent were hampered by the rules of the wbts. Those that were dogmatic and hateful loved to use the punitive rules of the wbts. Those in between were shy, confused, afraid of the dogmatic elders and just went along for the ride.

    I resigned.

    Outoftheorg

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    It depends on how you look at it I guess. When I was doing well at the meetings they would try and encourage me, but if I was having a hard time they would let me have it. Kind of the opposite of how it should have worked.

    Dustin

  • Gordy
    Gordy

    At a time when I , attempted suicide, diagnosed with acute clinical depression spent 6 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. Not ONE elder, all who had known for 25 years spent anytime with me. Not ONE said "I'll help you through this". Their concern when I came out of hospital was to have me before a JC, and privately reproved. Their advice for my recovery! Regular meeting attendance, and field service!!

    Six months on, no sign of me becoming the happy little JW again. They get my wife to tell me to leave home and family, because I'm a "spiritual danger" to the family. I move to another town and congregation, as not allowed to attend same KH as wife.

    In new KH same thing not ONE elder gives support. In the 3 years I was there, I had ONE "shepherding" visit by a single elder and that was just to see why wasn't I regular in field service. When I stopped attending meetings, it was TWO years before any elder called, and that was because there was a campaign to get inactive ones back, because of low numbers. But by then I had become a Christian and was attending a Pentecostal church.

    Thats the respect and "love" I got from elders.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    C'mon, Frank. They loooovvvedd u.
    Mini, the only time they loved me was when I confronted them with the United Nations evidence and said goodbye. It was just like the first time I showed up at a Kingdumb Hall.... the love bombing was wonderfuuuul but by the time I found the truth about the troof it just made me feel sorry for them that they are so enamored by those controlling demon bastards on the Governing Body.

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    Well ... They respected me as they understood I wouldn't respect them if they wouldn't respect me (cause I was a : Don't bother me kind of kid ... As I wasn't feeling guilty, sinner, misarable for anything as long as I felt right and moreover felt that they were wrong. I guess they could feel it)

    Also I didn't care when nice elders were telling me I was wrong for some reasons with explanation like : It's like that, that's all ... I can't fight against that ... And I don't think I'm wrong whatever you say I have to go there ... I'll pay for it if I have to ok, you can't stop me !!! ... the answer was always : Well ok (LOL)

    We were 2 like that in the familly with a give me a break attitude and a big mouth ready to shout ! Anne is still like that with them LOL ... so they bother his husband who's a nice guy (who don't give a damn) I love this guy ... that's a kind of guy I would have been ok to marry with (if I was not me LOL ... lucky sis !)

  • Hecklerboy
    Hecklerboy

    Maybe this is a regional thing, but I never had an elder treat me with anything other than love and respect. Especially in the congregation I grew up in the elder's were very loving. Maybe it was because my father died when I was 8 years old and they thought I needed some guidance. When I moved I wasn't as close to the elder but by that time I was already on my way out.

    The elders weren't the reason I left. I just couldn't stand the JW lifestyle.

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