Opposition to this site

Crumpet

I have only been a recent user of this site. The other night I explained what it was I was spending time reading online some evenings when my boyfriend is out and tried to explain how it is helping me finally let go of the JW beliefs that I have clung to for so long. I thought he would be pleased, but he got really angry and now is very difficult any time I try to use the internet at home. He doesn't think I should be communnicating with such "sad weirdos" etc. Once again I tried to point out that the people here think just like him (well lots of them do) about the JWs, but he just got really angry and said he couldnt talk about it.

Has anyone else had this reaction from someone who is not and never has been a JW or any other religious? I'm upset because I really hoped he would dig it, but now I can't even talk about the things I'm learning or the laughs I have here or the comfort that I have drawn from others on the site and their experiences with him. Why can't he understand it is a good thing and that I haven't actually coped very well all by myself the last 13 years and that this, at the moment, is a stepping stone to me learning to think for myself? I can't afford therapy and this is the next best thing! But it is very frustrating that I can't share it with him. I feel like one of those JW sisters with an unbelieving husband!

Sad LOL!

JustTickledPink

My husband told me I was "addicted" and spent too much time here, but I did. When I initially found the site I couldn't get enough, and I talked endlessly about all the similarities I found in people here compared to my own feelings... I have given myself a bit of time and kinda calmed down a bit and he doesn't say anything about it.

I think he was just in overload with it all because I was spending 2-3 hours a day reading stuff.

iiz2cool

Sounds familiar. My ex didn't seem to mind it so much when I DA'd, but definitely had a problem with my frequenting ex-jw boards and finding friends here. She couldn't understand why I couldn't just "get over it and get a life".

Walter

itsallgoodnow

Hi Crumpet!

I think it's strange that he got really angry about you visiting the site. I've seen people mention their S/O's don't like how much time they spend on the forum and stuff, but I don't know. Is he a jealous type? Does he mind if you have friends or go out with people when he's not around? Or would he mind if you joined a different kind of message board that was unrelated? I can't see why an ex-JW support group should bother him. If it's what you need right now, he should be more understanding. I would be really bothered by this. Hopefully he'll come around and begin to understand how much this could help.

holly

sounds familiar to me to - i think my partner feels left out that i now rush in and shove the kids out of the way, then sit in front of the computor screen for 2 hours, saying 'i wont be a minute' hah yeah right!!!!!! I wonder if you can file for divorce on grounds of desertion

GetBusyLiving

:"sad weirdos"

That's no way to refer to our friend wanderlustguy. Seriously though, I think they just can't grasp how much residual bullshit is associated with leaving the Jdubs. Its tough to even try explaining it.

Simon

"Sad wierdos"?

Hey, some of us wierdos are actually quite happy

blondie

I don't find this board or the people on it any different than those I encounter in the support groups for abuse survivors or support groups for recovering alcoholics and/or drug addicts.

Some participate frequently; in fact some alcoholics go 3x a day to meetings but as their recovery develops, they attend less often. Many stay after gaining balance in their lives to help others, new ones. The fact is that these people have been where they are, where they were, understand the pain and what it takes to improve. A few leave after awhile but most stay.

The problem is viewing this as a negative place rather than a place of support. "Weirdos" eh?

Blondie

bebu

My husband began to feel left out, it seems, so I began to share some of the posts with him that I thought would interest him. We've had some excellent discussions that have grown out of them. So, he's gone from frequently saying something like, "Why do you waste your time on that site??" to asking how so-n-so is doing now. He's gotten quite savvy on the JW culture!

bebu

AK - Jeff

Crumpet -

Sorry to hear that. It is tough to leave this organization intact mentally and emotionally. Some never seem to recover entirely. There is a ton of b-s to shed, and the average Joe just cannot understand that. I have had a hard time explaining to some on the 'outside' just how affected my thinking and worldview are in relation to the 'real world'.

We all need to heal. Some slow, some fast. He needs to understand that. Maybe a book on Cults would be good for him to read in order to support you - what is the book by Steve Hassan? anyone?

Jeff

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