This is presented as a means of re-introducing myself to the community. As time takes its toll and as new ones come in at almost a daily rate, it can be a little difficult for some to know, or get to know you. As a hope of allowing one of our new members to be better acquainted with me, I presented this as a PM, however, after giving it an overveiw while looking to see if it was read, and it was not, I decided to put it before the entire community, that maybe this PM should be regarded as not so private. At any rate, what follows is a brief introduction for a new member, but a re-acquaitance for the rest of the community. Thank You for allowing me to share.
I have been a JW for about 18 months. Though I've been around the truth since a teenager. I was finally baptized at around 33, and shared a brief stint of time as a baptized brother.
I walked away from the Truth after not being able to maitain the teachings in my life in the organization. I left mostly on account of the wrong that I did as a witness.
During my days of struggle outside of the organization, I became homeless, living on the streets of Philadelphia, and in a constant desperate search for some kind of meaning in my life, as I had always associated Jehovah's Witnesses as the only true religion on earth.
Spending time in a recovery and addictions hospital for psychiatric and drug related issues, I'd come into contact with recovery principles thru AA & NA as well as came into contact with folks who had an enormous amount of grace or mercy as it's described in the Kingdom Hall associated with their lives and was able to reach beyond the unfortunate belief that we as witnesses would cling to, that we were the only ones who knew God or could ever have any contact with God, that everyone else was wrong and we were right.
During these days, I had the opportunity to see God in other people, other situations that would not normally be associated with God's trying to show me something. I met the woman who one day would come to be my wife, and had one of the most profound of connections come as a result of my stepping away from our limited reasoning.
I've studied several books that deal with spirituality as opposed to religion and had come to realize that although I had a good foundation regarding the scriptural knowledge made available thru the Kingdom Hall, I was and would continue to be a spiritual infant as long as I remained there with the hellish limitations that we in the Hall would place upon those who did not believe as we do.
Much of my awakening happened as a result of reading M. Scott Peck's books on spirituality, The Road Less Traveled as well as several others that he has written. They were the begining of my journey into things that would help me to grow by leaps and bounds.
Grace or mercy has been shown to me in so many ways, and I actually associate the largest amount of grace in finding the forum JWD. I thought my life was technically over before finding this site, but when I did, and I found out how wrong we as Jehovah's Witnesses had been indoctrinated, how much of the history that goes un-noticed or un-mentioned, I'd received the greatest awakening that I could have asked for. I came to the realization that maybe there was hope for those who leave the WTBTS, maybe I could find happiness in my life, even after Jehovah.
And my life began to take on new meaning. I don't believe any longer that the WTBTS has God in their back pocket. That they even have a monopoly on God at all. Nor do I believe that there are those who do not have grace associated with their lives who are not even Christian, but grace does follow segments of society that have nothing to do with religion in itself, but also that grace belongs to those who are Muslim, Buhddiist, Shinto and every slice of mankind, regardless for their religious persuassion.
With what I know as a Jehovah's Witness, combined with my behaviour over the years, technically I should have been dead years ago. For whatever reason however, my life has not only been spared up to now, but has actually flourished beyond my own and my families comprehension. No one became a witness but me, but my getting there was a long dramatic and drawn out process, only to come to the conclusion that there would be even more to the story. God has blessed me, even in my foolishness, even when I should have been killed years ago, and my being here, for me, is somehow evidence that God has use for the once thought of eternal sinner.
I know deep in my heart that I'll never set foot in a Kingdom Hall again ever, but my life still has evidence of God's grace or mercy attatched to it, and now that I'm no longer a practicing Jehovah's Witness, there often seem as if there's even more grace in my life.
Love & Respect