Do you let your dub relatives watch your kids?

by avishai 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • avishai
    avishai

    This was mentioned on another topic but it needs it's own thread.

    OK, I'm gonna say it again. If your relatives will not speak to you.... do not let them have any contact with your children, period. It's abusive. It sends mixed messages. It says " I can set myself up to be a martyr and it's OK" It says too many damn things to your your kids for me to even print here, just ask a shrink. It's basically the same as letting someone punch you in the face in front of your kids, OK? Plus, you risk letting your kids getting turned into dubs. Do any of you really want that? No matter how small the risk

    It's Basically the same as being around an abusive spouse.

  • Pole
    Pole

    Luckily I'm not going to have this problem. But if my mother was still a believing dub and if she shunned me in any way. Or if she tried to use any form of emotional blackmail to influence my kids I'd follow your advice.

    But then, my mother would be a completely different person. :)


    Pole

  • MonkeyPrincess
    MonkeyPrincess

    Avi, you bring up a good point, one that i have not thought of yet. I guess i feel that
    its important for my son to have a realtionship with his grandparents, he loves them
    dearly and misses them. I mentioned in another thread how they have made no effort
    to see my son since they have decided to completly shun me, not until called and
    asked my mother to come see her grandson this past saturday. It was a very uncomfortable
    setting, one that i do not want to go through again. I guess i am hoping that they will see what
    good people we are and come around, eventually.
    I guess i have some big decisions to make, of course i would not allow them
    to take him overnight anymore.. not since my 3 year old said "papa reads the
    bible with me", my jaw about hit the floor.
    Anyhow, thank you for posting this, it does give me something to think about, and
    you definatly make a valid point.

    MonkeyPrincess

  • mama
    mama

    i guess i am lucky cause even though my parents don't see my kids as much, i have laid down the law and they follow it. if my kids visit them no taking them to meetings, studying with them etc. my kids talk about christmas in front of my parents and they just say thats nice. otherwise they wouldn't see them, period.

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    MP I know from previous posts you value your relationship with your mum and dad and thats to be encouraged but having the bible read to your son is like force feeding religion on the poor lad...if you find this objectionable you should say so; its not fair on your or your young lad.

    Hope things resolve themselves.

    G

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    OMG ! I did ... On her will (!!! ???) yes and in fact she was a pedophile (acknoledge the SHE !) in knowing that my babyboy was/is a HE !!!

    She was young too though (15-16 to 18-19 maybe) means big enough to take avantage on my babyboy ... to please herself !!!

    you never know !

  • Gill
    Gill

    Hi Avishai!

    My husband have nothing to do with us or our children. They wouldn't even say hello to the kids and they live a hundred yards up the road from us. My kids can go to my parents only if I go with them as I caught my mother getting all her bible story books out and bibles and asking them questions about the books and if they 'love Jesus'.

    So, NO baby sitting by JWs allowed!

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    I agree with you Avishai.

    Letting JW relatives watch your kids will result in religious separation in your home.

    Allow JW relatives to contact your children only through you, and only if they're nice to you. If possible, supervise those times or you'll soon have big problems in your hands.

    Children are very impressionable and JWs are very manipulative with kids. They'll have your children believing in all of their stuff in no time and have your kids even judging your actions. It'll be terrible for your household!

    Be nice, but be on guard with JWs and your young ones. They'll steal your kids' minds away from you in no time.

    DY

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    My dub relatives no longer acknowledge me; much less my kids.

    They ignored my wedding invitation years ago; also ignored all the birth announcements of all of my children.

    When I have seen the pompous JW relations at funerals of family members they simply ignore me and most likely do not even know that I have any kids.

    I am a non entity to them because I "turned my back on Jehovah" ... one of them wrote to me years ago to say this.

    chuckle, chuckle ....this is just too funny; you cannot make this stuff up! Good thing I do not take any of it seriously....

    the reality of it is; the JW family members are an EXTREMELY dysfunctional bunch; whether JW or not; haviing them out of my life is only a benefit to me and my kids. Nothing lost.

  • avishai
    avishai

    Great post, DY, You said it far better than I did.

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