by Es 31 Replies latest jw friends
Thats exactly what my partner said amazing1914, that there only saying that to entice me to go.
When I sent the D/A letter my father rang (elder) the day they got it, he was one of the main reasons why i sent the letter. I was currently very drunk but I remember him asking if he could destroy the letter, I said I need some time. So maybe thats what they have done just completely gotten rid of my D/A letter.
There is no way that I am going, they can D/F me if they like.
Hi Es,
I figured that somehow they must not have received your DA letter, or ignored it. I recall one situation where we ignored a DA letter, and still tried to meet with a young woman. She never met with us ... good for her. She ended up being DF'd. I don't know if she ever returned. And now, here I am. If you tried to stay, you probably could if you showed them what they want to see: meetings, service, and a begging heart ... unless they suspect apostacy, then there is little hope. But, you are better off without them.
By the way, I may have missed it, but are you and your husband still together, or are you getting a divorce? Just curious. - Jim W.
Scully --
Didn't you know that lying is one of their core doctrines?
inquirer -- Yeah, it says in the scriptures that Satan is the father of the lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..........
Es --
The thing is that a week before me ex sent his letter I sent my D/A letter, but its totally been dismissed.
But the tone in this elders voice was more of a "lie to us we dont care we just dont want you to leave, kinda tone if you get me. They know I am seeing a non believer and planning to get married if they think ive stayed completely chaste then they must be naive.
I guess it doesn't matter about the tone, they do have a negative bias anyway when they speak...
He probably spoke in the "right" tone to try to stuff you around, but you are not naive. ;)
heya amazing1914,
So you were an elder once hey? My husband and I are divorced. We have been seperated nearly 3 years. Neither one of us cheated on each other we waited till we had finally decided this was it. And anyway I gave him reason for scriptual divorce before he had done anything, not that we really cared about that. We werent following the "truth" anymore so we didnt care if we had scriptual reason anyway.
The Elders just think I wrote my D/A letter coz I was upset at my dad and so they have dismissed it. They dont understand that I dont go to meetings or anything because I dont believe in it, not that Im trying to get back at my dad. I dont know how much more clearer I have to make it to them.
es
When they come to see you answer the door naked... Wait that's my answer to EVERYTHING recently... Well what the hell it's worth a shot!
Ps I would do whatever is the most fun for you! Lie, make stuff up, pretend that you have no idea who they are talking about when they ask about your ex. Keep mispronouncing Jehovah as Jehober or something... I mean you've already send a DA letter right? So this is your one big chance to live out a Chevy Chase skit! Keep us posted!
Sounds like that elders a dumb-ass. I've got one of those, that act like you're their friend, yet they treat you like crap.
Dustin
lol mkr heheheh :)
Hi Es,
Yes, I was an elder ... and under my main screen name "Amaing" I posted my "Justice" series where I detail about 15 different judicial cases (names and places changed to protect the innocent). My posts have been pulled down for a time, but will eventually be restored.
I dont know how much more clearer I have to make it to them.
When I was Congregation Secretary a young women, who I knew from birth, wrote me a letter to DA herself. Earlier another elder and myself had met with her and her parents - at her request. She did not want to remain a JW, but her parents talked her into talking with us. She requested me because she felt more comfortable talking with me.
We thought she was going through a difficult time emotionally. At the time she was 18 and I think she had just graduated from High School. We could not seem to get her to say why she did not want to remain a JW, but it seemed to have something to do with her relationship with her non-JW boyfriend. We tried to get her to take her steps slowly, and not quit the JWs, but also not remain active. We were trying to be kind in that recommending inactivity would allow her to shed some burden without being shunned. yes, our recommendation was unconventional, but until the late 1980s, elders had more latitude to use their own judgment.
A month or so later she ended up writing a letter to me disassociating herself. I should have let it drop right there and just announce her request. But somehow, I still felt she was just upset and maybe we could meet and see if we could talk her out of leaving the organization. I was friends with her parents as well, and worried for them.
So, the same elder and me went to the house where she had moved (boyfriend's parents I think) and tried to visit with her. She was not there, or at least that is what we were told. The non-JW people she was staying with scolded us strongly for stopping by in an attempt to see her. They threatened legal action. In all honesty, they need not be so mean, as were only were trying to find the young women.
Anyway, I detail the rest of the story in the Justice series. The point is, the elders use to want to keep JWs in the organization. They use to try harder to find ways to work with people to get them to stay. But since the big apostasy boom starting in the late 1980s (post Ray Franz syndrome) the Sociaty has cracked down with a hard line, in almost a gleeful attitude to find ways to nail those they suspect of apostasy. That is why I suggested that the real motives the elders were seeking a meeting with you, is because nowadays they see everyone who is not attending meetings as potential apostates.
That is how they treatd me in the end. The Society's legal department became involved when I was finally forcibly disassociated in 1995. I had left in the spring of 1992, but they would not let the matter alone, and I would not keep my mouth shut. A bad mixture.
You can read my entire exit story at: http://www.exjws.net/pioneers/partintro.htm It is about 60 pages, but broken up into 18 chapters of about 3 or 4 pages each. I am planning one or two more chapters, but I have to wait for certain issues to be completed.
Jim W.
Wow, Its so surreal to talk to a elder who is D/A, as Im sure there are many out there.
My partner(non believer) has been reading a bit of these forums and he just cant get his head around the whole we have the "truth" and the D/F and D/A. But he said the same as you, that they just want to get me there and then throw @#$% in my face. I dont know if you have read the post about the new publication coming out about D/F and D/A, and that now they will be announced the same (NAME) is no longer a JW. Alot are starting to think that maybe its a clean up and all those inactive will soon be D/F. I hope it does happen, I really do, its going to shake alot of people's faith. Especially those in the truth whose partners are inactive. Looking forward to it :)
Im going to read your story now, hope to hear from you soon
es
