Even if he get the point and still stay that might just help him to get slow on it all ... and not put too much into it ... (but who knows, he might helps some other to leave ...) you did send him this letter already, there is no real reason to regret as you just told the truth and as your desire was just that you wanted him to know your reasons ...
Is it morally right ...
by Vivamus 27 Replies latest jw friends
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onacruse
Hiya Viv!
A personal experience: The chairman of my last JC was in his late 70s; born and raised a JW, went to prison in WW2, several kids and grandkids in the org, some of whom lived in houses built on property he owned.
Anyway, he (Don) was the hold-out on the JC--the other 2 elders wanted to DF me on the spot. I was a bit surprised, but not totally so, because I knew Don to be a fair and thinking man (insofar as a JW elder can be).
Eventually, though, he had to relent and vote with the other 2 elders. He had tears in his eyes when he came over to tell me the verdict.
About 3 months later I happened to be in a hardware store, and walking around the corner ran smack-dab into Don. I figured that, at most, we'd exchange a courteous "Good to see you again" and split. Instead, and out of the cold clear blue, Don looks me straight in the eye and says "Craig, I'm just too old to change."
Whoa! Where did that come from????
fwiw, I can only imagine that perhaps some of the things we discussed in the JC cut more deeply into his belief system than I had thought. In any case, I know it wasn't that I was trying to convert him...I was just trying to keep from being DFd.
Though I know of just a handful of very rare exceptions, his conclusion is typical of anyone who's spent decades in the org.
Craigster
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GetBusyLiving
I really wouldnt say anything to him about it personally. It's the type stuff a person has to figure out on there own. He's older, he's happy.. if he starts talking to you about doubts then go for it but for his mental health I wouldn't if I were you.
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Aude_Sapere
Little Toe: For that reason I think that the "Belmonts" are a stirling example, who should be honoured for their leaving!
Do we know of these people here on JWD?? I think I would like to read their story.
-Aude.
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freedom96
I think writing him the letter was the right thing to do. He cares about you, and he deserves to know the real reasons you have not come back as a witness. You owe that to him, in my opinion.
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Vivamus
Thanx all of you for your answes, tho not fair, to write such good things while I am vast asleep, then read them with sleepy eyes just for I have to get my self to work. I keep finding the matter to be muddy blurred as far as morals go. I keep weighing what you say to what I feel, and I can't come out with any other response than stil agreeing with the decision to have send the letter. Freedom 96, you said it right, I did owe him that much, and I guess that was my most pushing feeling that made me do it.
Ona, wow, that is sad in so many ways. But I can also very well understand it. And I guess somewhere That elder is better of, he knows, yet remains, a hard posotion but at leats one out of his own choosing. I kind of respect that, I think.
LT That's quite true, there can be many outcomes of this. And I suppose the most likiest will be nothing at all. Read, analyze and discard ... And well yes, he did asking a few times, genuinly asking to help. So he did at least deserved to know "why" i didn't come back.
Penny, well, lol, he really wasn't one that the "normal" flock would go to. I respected him for his mind, gawd the man could discuss. And most of em didn't really appreciate it.
Getbusyliving, part of me feels like that as well. Hence my dillemma of morals. Tho I did indeed send the letter already. Doubts sprang when I forgot to post that damn thing three times, and then decided against sending it al together. Only to learn that my mum had by then posted it for me, scatterbrained wench that I am ... But then, he is old, he is happy, but he also is, or at least was, not too happy with me up and leaving without so much as a goodbye. He has called on my door more than a dozen times. That is genuine. And I did feel that I could not stay silent like that. he sounded *hurt* when I told him last time I wasn't coming back, yet didn't tell him why. He didn't even know of the slimy things done at my DF, cuz he was't in my congregation by that time. *sigh* I dunno, when I wrote it, it felt *right* to do so.
Frenchbabyface, true enough
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TheEdge
This man sounds dear to you, and he clearly has a genuine interest in you too. Over the years, you say, he has been like a 2nd father to you, and has tried to guide you to the truth HE knows.
So, supposedly I have forced this man t look at some things, maybe cuz out his love for me he will investigate, just so he can convincce me
Your motivation for responding the way you have done is not to stumble him, but from the same love he's shown you. At the end of the day, he's an elder, and although you may be concerned because of his age (and I DO understand this), he must be ''compos mentis'' and have the ability to think for himself.
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LittleToe
Aude:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/6147/1.ashxNora:Have a good day. You have a lot on your plate, at the moment. Try not to over-think it too much
(((hugs)))