I have M.S. and there was a time that I had to walk with a cane. This was very hard for me to accept; I was probably 20 at the time. First of all, doc was amazing; I always felt terrible, how embarassing it must be to have a wife with a cane, but he never even blinked. The people in the world were wonderful, too. People never treated me poorly b/c of my illness/disability. One day I was at home (as usual, pretty much housebound at the time) and I got an unexpected gift in the mail. A dear friend, who lived across the country, had hand-painted a bamboo cane for me. It was gorgeous and, even though I haven't had to use it for years, is a prized possession. Her kindness touches me to this day, and I am also exceedingly happy that she found her way out of the dubs at about the same time as doc and me.
The odd thing is that the dubs were not very nice about the whole thing. I really didn't know quite how to take it. I mean, when I first was diagnosed, one of my dub sisters-in-law said "you can't have M.S.; that a serious illness." I mean, I know she was probably a little unhinged by it - I certainly was - but it just was such an odd response. I had to get used to that though. Everyone at the Kingdom Hall seemed to want to tell me about their cousin/uncle/brother''s son's best friend who had MS and was now either in a wheelchair/in a nursing home/incontinent/divorced/and or dead. I mean, I was never angry at them - perhaps they didn't know what to say - but I never had a worldly person say such a thing, and the whole concept of telling someone how bad life would end up for them was just mystifying to me.
It reminded me of when I was dating doc and the number of people who would come and tell me how badly it was bound to work out, considering their assorted friends and/or family members whose marriages had failed. I remember going to a get-together right after we'd gotten engaged and a friend told me - and not privately, but while we were all sitting in a circle of some sort - that I shouldn't get too excited b/c my marriage would probably fail, her daughter's had and so had hers and I had better just get used to the idea.
The other reaction I experienced from witnesses was that maybe I was faking it. I mean, no one ever said as much, but I just got this impression that they thought if I tried harder I could somehow make my vision return to normal and I wouldn't have any more problems walking. I had fallen in public (numerous times)and been unable to stand up again, I had ended up almost driving off the road b/c my vision had gone so blurry and I was even on disability from the gvmnt (which anyone who's applied for that knows it's not easy to get) and yet somehow they thought this was a game I was playing? I don't know, I just never got it.
Oh, and then my friend who said "I wish I had M.S. so I could stay at home in bed all day!" Well, hey, anybody who wants my MS is welcome to it! I have a life to live and really no time for it anyway. I'm in remission now (thankfully) but I'm glad to know that when/if it comes back at least the people in my life now are supportive.
Kitties
