Methods of "reproving"??

wordlywife

Well all, my dear step-daughter is going to be or has been reproved. Apparently she was at a party with unsavory things going on, and she confessed all to an elder. Sounds as though she won't be allowed to Pioneer or get to go to Pioneer School. Is this something that is announced? Is is public or private? What is Pioneer School? Is this decision made and executed by a judicial committee? How long will this last for her? I can't bear it for her, her self esteem is already hard to come by, and now this. Sorry for all the questions.

Perhaps I was too much of a "worldly" influence on her! Part of me wants to say hey, she's doing what most other kids already do, JW or not, and she even did the right thing by telling all about it, and they yank her Pioneering priveledge.

Worldly Wife (just realizing my name is spelled incorrectly in my profile after all this time...duh)

under74

Damn, I'm sorry for her.

Hey...i don't know what the situation is with your step-daughter but is she in school? I ask this because I know how school--even one class at a community college can change a persons outlook. Not just having to do with the JWs but life in general. Your whole self-image can shift in a month.

Just a thought.

jgnat

I think Pioneer School is on Thursday nights. She will have to sit in the audience. When my honey was on reproof, they threatened not to give him a Kingdom Ministry update. It is sad, really to see grown men "reach" for these pathetic priveledges to "do more". And to be deprived of an exclusive bit of paper.

What will be worse for her is how her peers will not "associate" with her as much, as she is now "bad association." The only way a faithful JW can run past this gauntlet is show a proper "repentant attitude" (shoulders hunched, don't look good people in the eye, use the word "humbly" a lot, and don't smile or laugh). This will likely have to go on for a few months.

By the way, her big sin was not attending the party, but spending time with "bad association". I am mostly worried about her social life now. No communication at the hall, not supposed to hang with the "bad" kids at school. Teenagers must have socialization, or they can get seriously depressed.

I would take her to Dairy Queen on Wednesday night and remind her she doesn't have the school to prepare for any more! Help her go through her list of friends, and between you, figure out who are worth hanging with (JW or not JW). Let her know she is not alone.

By the way, every man deserves a WORDly wife! LOL

wordlywife

No she's not in school. She had researched a bunch of them, and even turned down a scholarship this fall (as far as I know). I encourage her to go to school, or if she isn't then to find a profession that has the potential to support herself entirely such as learning office trades vs. babysitting, but neither have come to pass and she is still babysitting. I had talked to her a month ago about perhaps going to part time pioneering as she just couldn't get a job with such limited hours available for her to work, she was really stressed, etc. Her Dad (my husband) definitely did not like my thought about going part time. It seems like Pioneering is all these young people are supposed to do with their lives, and it hurts to see her treated this way over ONE incident. I just want to defend her because she truly is a good kid, kind, sweet and in need of an identity and with this I feel like they are going to hurt her even more, for one mistake.

worldly wife of the **good grief** class

blondie

Reproving can be public or private.

If only a few people know, then it is usually private. If the situation is widely known or will become widely known (as in the case of an unwed pregnancy), it is usually announced publicly at the beginning of the service meeting.

Private reproof consists of counseling the person in front of the people who witnessed the sin.

"reproved before all onlookers" is another phrase JWs use.

Reproving is done for a sin that the person could have been disfellowshipped for if the judicial committee (3 elders) had not decided that she was repentant.

Restrictions are similar to that of disfellowshipping and are chosen by these elders and can consist of not being able to answer at the meetings, not participating in the theocractic ministry school, not being used in demonstrations in the service meeting (or assemblies/conventions). Male JWs have more restriction options since they have more "privileges" to take away. She will not be able to auxiliary or regular pioneer while "under restrictions" which can last anywhere from 6 to 12 months (or more but I haven't seen that much). Usually the rule of thumb is that after 6 months of being off restrictions, she should be able to auxiliary pioneer again and many elder would approve regular pioneering depending on what she had been doing the last 18 months.

Were the other participants reproved?

Blondie

blondie

Pioneer School is a 2-week program usually held in August for regular pioneers who started the previous September. It is conducted by the circuit overseer and another brother, sometimes another circuit overseer or a district overseer. Sessions are held morning and afternoon with discussion from a "special" handbook for pioneers. Part of the time is spent in the door to door work and making return visits and attempting to start bible studies using the techniques learned in school. It is fairly intensive compared to the theocratic ministry school.

Blondie

95stormfront

Such a sad state of affairs to sit back and watch what could be a totally productive life go to waste based upon fear of life in the WT's FOG (fear, obligation, guilt).

wordlywife

I don't know what will or has happened to the other kids. I do know they have been reported about, so something will probably be done. It just seems so harsh and drastic, especially since she is the one who "confessed", and immediately too. Sheesh.

You've got that right, Stormfront.

ww

blondie

Confessing...

Leads to a scenario like this

A guy and a girl fool around

The guy feels guilty and confesses but is disfellowshipped.

The gal denies it and stays a JW in good standing because there is only one witness to the sin.

Hmmm

wordlywife

There were quite a few kids at this party, so I don't think they can all deny it. Perhaps they will.

Apparently she does not want me to know about what happened (too late) for fear of what I might think of her. Gee I'm worldly, what would it matter what I thought? Unless of course she does respect me in some way. Hopefully by the way I treat her she will know the feeling of unconditional love.

ww

Methods of "reproving"??

Share this