Are you still "hurt" from your JW experience?

by JH 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  frankiespeakin

  Robert,

  You will become more social, make friends and become a stronger person for the experience.

  That not really true,, you have to really want to,,some of us become very withdrawn.
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  pepheuga

  i never felt hurt, just angry and bewildered. to feel hurt, one might have to have a sense of one's own worth. one of the things the jws persuaded me of was that i was worth nothing.

  pepheuga
• 

  OldSoul

  Robert, I find myself agreeing with frankie on this one. Everyone is different, but for some it is tough to make the adjustment to life outside. Freedom can be a scary place if you have few, or underdeveloped, coping skills.

  Since most of my interactions with other people had been inside the Organization from birth on, I felt very awkward in groups of non-witnesses for a long time after waking up. I thought I knew how worldly people acted and reacted, what they liked and didn't like. Figured I could fit in no problem, just be like them. The shock of how very wrong I had always been was a lot to get past.

  It has been worth the effort for me. I'm still tough for most people to take in anything but measured doses, but it is a lot better than it used to be. "Please shut up!" is like an a.k.a. now. And I have more genuine friends who know what a friend is than any one man has a right to.
• 

  frankiespeakin

  Pep,

  Don't feel that way we all are "GOD" let yourself feel oneness and you will feel total awe,,I have not done so yet at least I don't remember it in my head but intuitively felt i have come very close to oneness it is mystical and empty at the same time.
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  Eyebrow2

  I do miss some of my old JW friends dearly, and the closeness I used to share with my mother.

  However, I think there is a point where every ex-JW needs to stop living like an ex-JW. no matter how horrible an experience you have had.

  I know this is much eaiser for some than others. I do have some regrets, all do no matter what religion. But I don't really regret my experience as a witness because I really believed in. I did what I thought was right with the knowledge I thouth was true at the time. It took me a few years after stop going to the meetings to get to the point where I wasn't somewhat bitter. I think when you can reach that point, you can fully start a new full life.

  Sure, I still feel a little pain when I think of friends in the past, but I remember the good times and that brings me some joy.

  I guess it might seem an oxymoron to say I am not living as an ex witness any longer, since I am at this board. This board was key in helping get to this point, and I consider many that I have met through the board my friends. So, this board is part of my new life. Simon created it with so many different sections, that it I feel really comfortable still coming here.It is great because there is a place for everyone at different stages, those that are still in, those that are trying to break free, those that are trying to recover....etc. I don't worry too much about getting d'fd anymore, even though I do have a brother, a sister and mother very active in it. I don't bother to d'A myself because...well, frankly, the WTS doesn't mean anything to me any longer, so why waste my time?
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  frankiespeakin

  I think my wife and I are in recovery,, from depression it has taken a few years of our life to recover from the shock,,we both were very numb for a while as every friend we ever had in the WT has left us save Lotus and Chriss for still associating with her mother while I am not allowed in their house except if I had to take a shit in an emergency they would probable be human and allow me to do that,,and not get called on the carpet for it in the congregation.
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  eljefe

  I served where the "need was greater". I sacrificed a significant amount to be there. Now that I'm fading I have only been visited 1 time. So, all my time, effort, and sacrifice amounted to absolutely nothing.