Mamas Bible

by chappy 7 Replies latest social humour

  • chappy
    chappy

    Mama's Bible
    -------------------------

    Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors
    and lawyers and prospered.

    Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They
    discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far
    away in another city.

    The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

    The second said, " I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the
    house."

    The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

    The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you
    know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this
    preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took
    twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000
    a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just
    has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

    The other brothers were impressed.

    After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

    "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I
    have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

    "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
    delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

    "Michael, you gave me and expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could
    hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm
    nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

    "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a
    little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

  • Puternut
    Puternut

    OMG that's hillarious,

    I got one:

    An older priest from a catholic abby decided to invite a nearby, new upcoming priest for lunch. At lunch time the young priest couldn't help but notice the very attractive house attendant that was serving lunch. Lunch went without a hitch and both priests talked for hours.

    Later that week the younger priest received a letter from the older priest. " I enjoyed having lunch with you very much, but I don't know how to say this. But the fact remains that after lunch the house attendant, brought to my attention that the silver gravy ladle was missing. "

    Several days later the older priest receives a letter back. " I enjoyed lunch with you very much as well. But the fact remains that IF you were have slept in your own bed you would have noticed the silver gravy ladle"

    Puternut

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Very funny. Sounds like something my grandma would do, bless her heart.

    Jean

  • SecretA
    SecretA

    The first one i get but the last one i dont

  • Mecurious?
    Mecurious?

    The first one i get but the last one i dont

    Ok, heres a hint for you:

    very attractive house attendant sex

    There does that help?

    M'

  • Dismembered
    Dismembered

    Good One Chappy!!

    Dismembered

  • in a new york bethel minute
    in a new york bethel minute

    INTERCOURSE!!! I GET IT! HAHAHA THE MAN LIKES TO HAVE SEX WITH LADIES! SWEET!

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek
    INTERCOURSE!!! I GET IT!

    Cool. Me too!

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