After much, much soul searching this past weekend I was once again confronted with the possibility of what can be called the Divine. It was not exactly a pleasant experience, as I have been denying, even ridiculing the idea of God basically since exiting the JWs (guess I was more traumatized than I thought). During this last year I have been convinced that I must have been crazy for believing in God. Now I'm not so sure. Things all came to a head this weekend and I was faced with a distinct choice: follow the "God" consciousness or follow my comfortable little self that has been constructed over a lifetime with a little remodeling this past year. I took the easy way out, followed the ego. There is no denying of the presence of the other side, though, the side of me that wants to transcend old habits and glow with unconditional love and maybe, just maybe, have a relationship with a Higher Power that I am not sure even exists, although at one point not too long ago that One's existence was a deep seated truth that I experienced personally.
Was I wrong for believing in the Divine? Am I hurting myself now by denying Its presence? Has anyone hear successfully integrated their highest beliefs with their skepticism/logic? I know, these questions are kind of vague, but they are hopefully a beginning to enlightening discussion.