by codeblue 19 Replies latest members private
Codeblue,
Still trying to make sense out of the JW's?? By now you must have learned that it's futile to look for sense, when there is none......You'll be in agony as long as you keep looking for something that's not there..... Can't let go can ya?
Puternut
Oh Puternut:
I want to let go.........don't worry there..............(I am not attacking you by any means nor do I want the WTBS on my side, I just want answers?)
I accepted back my husband.............and thought to myself: How did I sleep with him.........now I can't get a divorce?????????
I confided in the elders.......they told me they didn't tell me the FINAL response of my husband......He told them of more adultery than when I turned him in...........then they said: you already slept with him...........you have your "go" card........if you sleep with him again.........you are stuck with him." Geez, thanks for sharing what I needed to know!!!
What the F?
Now that I am out, it sound so preposterous????
If I don't trust my (then) husband, and I know he is not repentant...........where do they get off telling me I have forgiven him because I innocently slept with a deceiving guy (who only wanted sex and lied about repentance) ...whether or NOT he has kept unknown affairs from me from his past????????????????????
This is an awakening question for me..........how dare they question me????????? and my heartbreak and tell me I am stuck with him because I slept with him and ALL is forgiven?????????????????????????
WTF??????????????????????????????
CodeBlue
I confided in the elders.......they told me they didn't tell me the FINAL response of my husband......He told them of more adultery than when I turned him in...........then they said: you already slept with him...........you have your "go" card........if you sleep with him again.........you are stuck with him." Geez, thanks for sharing what I needed to know!!!
What, then, of the other situation, that of a person still married who, after having forgiven one act of adultery, later comes to learn about other acts of sexual immorality or perversion by the guilty mate, acts committed before such forgiveness was extended? This would give the innocent mate opportunity to reconsider the matter. The Bible shows that even Jehovah God views a practice of sin as being far more serious than a single act of sin. (1 John 1:8?2:1; 3:4-6) While a man or woman may be willing to forgive one act of adultery, he or she may feel differently about forgiving a practice of sexual wrongs over a prolonged period. In such a case, some persons would again choose to forgive the guilty mate but others might want to use this new evidence to obtain a divorce and to establish with the congregation their Scriptural freedom to remarry. This would apply to persons who are separated as well as to those still living together as husband and wife.CB, I talked to 2 elders about the above for another sister I was trying to help. Unfortunately, the elders don't always tell the sisters what their options are and unless they research...and who is in any state emotionally to research. Obviously, the elders in your case did not choose to share this information. If you had been in the congregation I last attended, you would have been able to get a scriptural divorce based on the above.
But I take it this was when you were married to your now ex-husband.
Hey, they make the rules, they decided who they apply to. Would it be surprising that many elders who are male after all, favor the husbands.?
((((hugs)))
Blondie
Blondie : thanks for the research!!!
The elders did say: you have a "go card" after I slept with my husband.............and I got the divorce.....
But really: what difference would it have made???????? He was not repentant and treated me like crap.........regardless of the "hidden affairs he chose not to reveal before I so called forgave him and slept with him?"
How can the JW's make such a rule??????????
It hurts my heart to know they are in that much control of people's lives........(not the scriptures)
CodeBlue
How can the JW's make such a rule??????????
It's right up there with the one that says they can DF a person for staying over night unchaperoned with a person of the opposite sex; as if if sex can't happen during the day.
They just can't trust the Bible and the individual. That is why the Talmud has more "laws" about the Law; the Pharisees had to improve on it.
Imagine this rule:
Is picking up an egg on the Sabbath considered work?
1. If the chicken is being raised for meat not eggs, then it would be No because it was only part of the chicken that fell off but
2. If the chicken is being raised for eggs, then it would be Yes.
It is no wonder that Jesus said those people were making God's word invalid with their rules.
Blondie
ok...it is THEIR RULE...not BIBLICAL
thanks for Answering Blondie.............all omnipresent one!!!!!!!!
Thanks for taking the time to answer..................
(I had a feeling it was THEIR reasoning...and not really Biblical)
CodeBlue
Codeblue,
I am affraid I might owe you an appology. I thought you were speaking hypothetically. I can appreciate your pain, anger and injustice. But we all on different levels have experienced things within that organization, that allowed us to have our eyes opened to TRUE LOVE. And we can be thankful for that.
I Love You,
Puternut
Puternut...you have a PM..........check them...
NOdenial and I love ya toooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh Goodie... 2 of em at that !!
I have to agree, it is mind boggling that people (even I) gave so much control over these decisions that should be ours. They say you leave your mother and father and cleave unto your spouse.
They say wives "submit" to your husbands in all things. Yet they fail to tell you that this involves being able to truly trust this person and that they have your best interests at heart. This is not always the fact.
To be able to truly "submit" to eachother the trust must be completely there. So much so, that you truly can trust this person in all things. Nor does it mean, that you completely give over all control. That individuality is respected. It should be a partnership rather than a dictatorship. That is how it almost always ends up being~ an unbalanced, unhappy, dictatorship. Until someone over throws the dictator or dies trying.
I have seen where this goes wrong on so many levels. Elders are not Marriage Counselors!
Just my 2 cents.
X.
