I have read in different threads, comments to the effect of married Dub males as being despotic, tyrannical lords of their domain. And I'm sure in many istances this is true. I had NEVER heard of men (family heads) referred to in such terms before I became a Dub. My step-dad "ruled" with absolute authority and respect, but he was a hard worker, very fair and almost always put the family first. He wasn't some lazy ass tyrant and he LOVED my mom. He was completely non-religious. Although quite "imperfect" he was truly a "man."
But in my entire 20 years in the bOrg. I witnessed the exact opposite. Almost all brothers were "whipped", their wives were hard core b*tches, they ran the "show" usually from behind the scenes. Elderettes were the order of the day. I have never met women(as a group) that were so mean spirited, bullyish, unloving, domineering, catty, liars, gossipers, slanderers and immature (even old ones). They "rode" their husbands and families hard. I would always puke when a speaker would go on about how "wonderful" our sisters were. Don't get me wrong there were a few good sisters, but the b*tchy ones kept them in their "places".
This isn't a woman bashing thread. I KNOW there are @$$hole Dub husbands out there. But most of the ones I knew were mousy and wimpish as opposed to....absolute dictator (as the mags always so fondly compared them to). I've also never seen a group so obsessed with identifying and extolling "the head". I never heard my dad or any of the other "dads" of my friends while growing up refer to or even discuss this, it was just understood.
So in your experience who was the head? (please omit- extreme instances of physical abuse)