Tell me ,did you know the workings of the jw cult before or after you met her? If you did know then you knew what the consequences would be and her being a jw she surely knew .
problems with JW girlfriend and her family
by starcrossedpimp 14 Replies latest jw experiences
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kls
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heatherg
If there really is a connection with the two of you and you are in real love, then just be patient, she'll come around. I was 19 when I was df'd because I chose to be. I would've left when I was 18, but like your girlfriend I was brainwashed and fearful of losing the only friends and family I had ever know. The first year or two away from everyone was very difficult, and painful. Being a Jw all your life makes you very naive to the ways of the world. It did get better, lots better. I'm now happily married to my husband of 4 yrs. and have 3 beautiful childern and am happier now than I have ever been. I never fully got over losing my friends and family, but it's like moving far away, you make new friends and my family now is all I need. Just let her know that the door to you will be open for when she's ready.
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undercover
You're going to lose no matter how you look at it.
She's 18, she doesn't have control over her life right now. Parents and religion are dictating how she should live.
If she should choose to leave them for you, you will be the bad guy from here on out. Her old friends from the religion will hate you, her parents will hate you and in time she may come to resent that you are the reason she lost her family.
If she should choose the religion over you, well, it's obvious you lose. She may continue to see you secretly, but what kind of life is that?
If you should become a JW just in order to gain her parents approval, in time you will resent them, the religion and her for getting you involved with a wacky religion.
My advice is to give up and move on. That's not what you want to hear, and yea, it will hurt to leave, but in the long run that's what will be best for everyone involved. If she was older and independant then maybe, just maybe you could make it work, but you're basically dealing with a child. Be honest, tell them why you're leaving and leave. Make a clean cut and get out while you can.
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Nosferatu
Tell her you'll wait for her, if you mean it!
Don't tell her that. Tell her that there's too many issues in the way for the relationship to continue. Then move on, but don't close the door on her. Let her know that if she wants to hook up in the future, she knows where to find you. Then leave.
If she finally gets her shit together and decides that this religion is a pile of crap, she'll probably come looking for you. Let her figure everything out for herself. However, don't wait for her. She could easily slip back into the religion forever.
Give her the gift of missing you. She'll remember you forever because of it.
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Seeking Knowledge
If she should choose to leave them for you, you will be the bad guy from here on out. Her old friends from the religion will hate you, her parents will hate you and in time she may come to resent that you are the reason she lost her family.
True...take it from me...it's not easy dealing with it, and sometimes it's just not worth it.