Can anyone help me?

by aud8 37 Replies latest jw experiences

  • aud8
    aud8

    Thank you all for your kind words. I disassociated myself last night. I felt I had to do so as I gave into temptation with my fiance and just felt too guilty. I think its a bit easier for me as my mother disassociated herself 5 years ago and my brother and best friend are both disfellowshipped, so I don't have to worry about losing family. I sent a letter to both of my best friends who sent me understanding messages. It was so hard though, I sat for an hour outside one of my frineds houses trying to decide whether or not to post the letter, eventually I did.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    ((((((aud8))))))

    That was a very brave thing to do, and I'm glad to hear that most (all?) of your family is out, anyway. I know I have found having normal family relations a blessing while I'm missing my friend.

    As stated above, no matter what your state of mind, we will be here for you to rant, rail or rejoice with. Never fear.

    May your life's journey be a fascinating one! (Ready or not, here you come! )


    outnfree

  • GodRules
    GodRules

    aud8:

    You shouldn't be afraid to speak to the elders if what you did was commit fornication. If you are truly repentent, pray to Jehovah for forgiveness and tell the elders you did just that. Jehovah is a loving God and he forgives. He paid a high price, his Son, in order to forgive our sins.

    disassociation only makes things worst, because you are saying by your actions that Jehovah will not forgive you. That is not true.

  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    GodRules knows that it is not Jehovah that forgives when you approach the elders but it comes down to the elders as to whether you get punished, disfellowshipped or forgiven. Elders can be very fickle and can use their power in a vindictive way, after all they are only human and imperfect at that.

    In my experience I had to go through a judicial committee because I doubted certain aspects of the society and organisation, my husband and I were really hammered and pulled in all directions, it was a dreadful experience, we felt no love towards us at all and they seemed to take great pleasure in trying to make me cry. We went through 6 months of punishment imposed on us by the elders, we were made to feel totally inadequate, a sub-class in the congregation.

    I know that when you say that disassociation only makes things worse this is just your own opinion, but we have been through it and realise now that to disassociate was the most positive thing we could have done. We have regained our lives, our dignity and restored a happy and balanced family life. We no longer live under the judgemental gaze of the elders who were watching constantly and caused us a lot of stress when we were only doing what the WT tells us to do - question everything, because the elders had no decent answers for our enquiries we were punished.

    aud8 - the elders would like to feel that you are now doomed to die at Armageddon, this is because they have been taught in a judgmental, unloving religion. Now that you are free to examine and research 'the truth' without fear of retribution within the congregation I am sure you will come to the same conclusion as we have, that the JW organisation itself has made unforgiveable mistakes, they have never shown any repentance for the errors they have made yet they expect you too. A case of double standards there. Your life now aud8 is your own to do with as you want. Enjoy it and make the most of every day and do not feel any guilt - just think about whether a loving God or Jesus would truly treat you the way the elders do? Jesus looked upon people with compassion, a trait rarely found in the organisation.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Individuals Wife Rules!


    outnfree

    Edited for emphasis

  • Briand
    Briand
    the elders would like to feel that you are now doomed to die at Armageddon, this is because they have been taught in a judgmental, unloving religion

    Our faith tradition believed that God would send all the "Non believers" (tm) to "hell" (tm) for ever and ever and we would watch them burn in heaven with great joy. I think back now on that whole idea and quite frankly get sick. I mean why would God send little babies to hell. What you said true. Take care.

  • larc
    larc

    Briand,

    I notice that you are new here. Welcome to our community of very diverse people. We are diverse, but share one thing in common, an oppressive experience from a religion. It sounds like you share that with us.

  • Latte
    Latte

    Godrules,

    I have been in the Org. long enough to have it well established in my mind that the outcome of many a meeting with the elders, depends a lot on whether or not they actually like the person in question....frightening is'nt it??

    Individuals Wife

    So glad your free!!! {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} To you all!

    You said***** We have regained our lives, our dignity and restored a happy and balanced family life.*****

    Strange that to obtain the thing's which you describe above, you had to leave is'nt it?? Ditto for my family too!!

    Have a great day all!!

    Latte

  • Disengaged
    Disengaged

    Aud8

    Listen to the advice of Indivdualswife, she is right on the the money

  • kes152
    kes152

    Hello adu8,

    How are you? How do you feel & everything? I hope all is well.

    Peace to you,
    Aaron

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