fear tactics (page 3)

kaykay_mp

My grandparents constantly telling me that they were going to send me to a reform school if I didnt stop wanting to be a normal teenager. Things change when (someone makes) you get baptized.

I know it sounds crazy. They pretty much wanted to put me in reform school for almost everything. They thought it was the only way to control me. Never got to go, since I seemed to straighten up once the threat faced me.

laters

kaykay_mp

sugarbritches

Hi- thanks guys for all your posts. I can relate to so much of your fears and feelings. I wasn't a baptised witness but I was a Bible Student 3 times-:)))-- so I remember feeling afraid that the witnesses would come to my house and see the Christmas decorations that my family had put up --- afraid that someone I had known forever and who disliked the JW's intensely would drive past the Kingdom Hall and see my car there.So many fears- I'm so glad I got out in time. Hugs to you all- Sugarbritches

prophecor

Commiting the unforgivable sin. Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again ,masturbation somehow comes to mind, or for those concerned with political correctness,...self abuse!

steve2

Commiting the unforgivable sin. Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again ,masturbation somehow comes to mind, or for those concerned with political correctness,...self abuse!

Hey that's me circa 1966-1981! A pure ongoing living hell. I was convinced that I had committed the unforgivable sin and that I could not access Jehovah in prayer. I was so tormented and the brothers were so completely out of their depth in trying to help me with my ego-dystonic homosexuality. In fact, their comments often made matters worse.

I lived in absolute fear that the great tribulation would strike because I had homosexual desires (which, Jehovah knows, I tried to stamp out) and could not stop masturbating (I later learned that there is a connection between anxiety states and seeking comfort through sex - if only someone had understood).

I tried to prove I was normal and okay by pioneering. Looking back I have such compassion for the young tormented man I was. I'm so pleased I got out alive and was not among the six or so young local JWs who killed themselves over the years! steve2

prophecor

I must have worn my elders out as well, I kept requesting that they come and pray me into a better condition, sometime thereafter I just learned to suffer in silence.

I stopped reading at the book study, my guilt could not be contained, to the point that I almost felt that everyone knew what was going on, my being a single brother, as well as not having the predetermined boundaries required when being JW, that being, don't admit to any failings or character flaws within the Org., at least not to regulars.

I took the confess your sins scripture way too literally, then I couldn't understand why everyone kinda' started lookin' at me strange. Word gets around fast in the Hall I guess.

So some 18 months after being baptized, I did the only good thing a reasonably guilty conscienced Christian individual would do, I commited my self to spiritual suicide by taking myself out. You know, the same way the mob comes out to getcha' when you've made such a huge mistake, " Do it for your family, your wife and kids ", so to speak, and they hand you the weapon, you go somewhere out of sight and then....

I never had the courage enough to commit suicide, that takes real guts, or someone so twisted that they feel being dead would be better than having the curse of being a corpse just waiting to lie down.