I continually battle with my emotional feelings as the daughter of a devout JW and my beliefs as a reasonable educated individual.
Problems arise when my mother makes some sort of contact with me via email and always has to put in some dig such as "since you have turned your back on Jehovah's people" and then I get furious because if God does have people on earth I am sure the Red Cross volunteers would be on the list, not the JWs I know. The statements she makes always irritate me and I sometimes choose to defend my beliefs, my morality, my truth vs her truth. I spend time writing not only factful but sometimes emotional charged testimony about what it means to be Godly.
Once I make my point it opens up a can of worms and I get bombarded with emails or magazines from her trying to make her point. There have been many times over the years when I walk away from the argument because it's pointless and senseless and I really shouldn't expend precious energy hitting my head against a brick wall. Then I don't hear from her for months on end, then one day I out of blue she reaches out again.
If I choose to ignore her rants, the emails, the occasional card filled with scriptures I feel as if I have conceded. My silence is maybe a clue that she can continue with hopes that I will change my views. My defending my choices leaves me spent and frustrated with not only her but the Org that perpetuates these lies and demands her devotion to them and not her own family.
There is no win-win situation. The other factor is although she is a JW, she is mentally disturbed. She does things that a normal person wouldn't do, such as freezing her pets in her freezer that she keeps food in... I have seen dead birds, dead pet fish, even a 3 foot long iguana wrapped up in her freezer. She dresses like a bag lady most of the time, she can't usually hold a job longer than a few months or maybe a year, she has health problems and is aging, but the most stubborn person. If the JW thing was removed I know we'd still have problems connecting, but I think I could understand better.
So how do you handle it? It's been 10 years for me and I still struggle, and I continue to battle the question of responding or just being silent, which is a form of shunning I guess. She plays tug of war, gives you a little crumb on the floor and then when you get close you get kicked from under the table.
How do you reconcile your emotions from your heart and your beliefs in your head with your family?