filip,
This is really a tough call. On one hand like you said, your parents might just freak out and try to force you to do more for the "truth". On the other hand, the fact that they're asking might be a sign that they realize that no matter what they do, you might not want to be a jw, and they're ready to accept that possibility.
but what about now, where theyre actually asking me directly? As Jez said, its tearing me up inside to live a doublelife. Mentally I dont think I can handle the pressure much longer...
Although I was an adult when i told my mom I didn't want to be a jw anymore, I still felt the same things as you do. At the time I quit, I was still quite dependent on my parents, and I thought that it might be a possibility that I might get kicked out of the house. Towards the end of my stint as a JW, the same thing was happening to me as living the doublelife was starting to take it's toll on me, it came to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore. But my mom was also noticing a big change in my personality similar to the way your parents have noticed a change, and on many occasions, my mom asked me if I still wanted to be a jw. During those times, I lied and said yes out of fear and guilt.
The point is, at that time I made the decisions on what I thought was best for myself given the situation. I can't tell you what to do, especially in a situation like this. You know how your parents are, and when it comes to something like this, it's almost a wild guess as to how they're going to react. The only thing I can tell you, is to do what you perceive is best for yourself given your situation. Good luck figuring out what to do.
Nocturne
