where to now

by betrayedbyall 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • garybuss
    where is the love, where is the Christ like personality,

    It never was there. You just noticed.

    We were set up. It was a scam. Business has nothing to do with religion. Think about it.

    You sound like me in 1974. I was a little surprised too.

    Me thinks you are in the right place. You may want to read Crisis Of Conscience by Ray Franz.

  • mjarka911

    I am so sorry for the hurt and betrayal you feel. I too DA'd myself after 35 years a true believer. I am currently completely shunned by my parents, sisters and friends of over 20 years. The advice to take a deep breath is excellent. For years you filtered the world thru the watchtower, enjoy now taking life as it comes and making up your own mind. We conditioned ourselves for decades to allow others to tell us what we feel and think. Please get the book Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. He was a gentle true believer like us up to and including his time as a governing body member. The information he has for you cannot be found anywhere else. You seem like a good person. Trust your instincts!

    Good Luck (yea, you can say that now!)


  • Aude_Sapere

    betrayedbyall -

    Yikes! Your names sounds painful. I'm so sorry...

    On the otherhand, you came here after only 3weeks. I waited over 15years before daring to look at any JW site for fear that it was an apostate site in-hiding. (LOL this one pretty much is. And I LOVE it!!)

    Welcome to the board.

    btw, My alias here means: Dare to know; Dare have knowledge/wisdom. I dared myself to explore. Lo-and-behold ... for the first time in my life I feel that I am with people who really understand what I feel and they have helped me find the words to express those feelings. I feel like I belong here.

    It's an unbelievable group. I've been here for about 6 weeks.

    Now I'm going to read other people's responses to you...


  • kat2u

    Your story is not unique. I am glad you found this site,it has been very helpful to many of us.

    Manyhave lost friends and family and the support here can be so helpful.

    It will get easier it will be tough for awhile though.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
  • Low-Key Lysmith
    Low-Key Lysmith

    Keep your chin up betrayed. When I was DF'd, all kinds of wildly trumped up charges were made against me. The fact that I had listened to The Doors on occasion was brought up as a reason for my ousting. Crazy accusations of fornication, incest, violence, devil worship, the list goes on & on. I am a much better person now. I have lots of "worldy" friends who really love me and never talk smack behind my back. They're pretty much the only family I have now, but I'm okay with that. Life is better. It's been 13 years. I don't even know my family anymore. My dad won't talk to me. My sisters were just kids then, all grown up now. I don't even know who they are.

    Take time out for yourself. Do something harmless you've always wanted to do but didn't because the society frowned on it. Buy Christmas presents. Celebrate your next birthday, hell, celebrate your dog's birthday. Re-build. Just learn to stand on your own. My biggest problem at first was trying too hard to make people accept me. I didn't realize that I just had to be myself. I felt so lost, so alone, so uncool, so different. Go down to the pub, get yerself a wee dram, engage in conversation with some "worldly" bloke. You will soon come to find that not all people who arent in the org are blind or deluded. It will hurt alot for a while. 13 years later for me it still stings like hell sometimes. This website is a good outlet. You will find that you will need to vent alot. It helps to know that there are other "brothers and sisters" out there who share your pain.

    Be strong, don't give up on love. Everything will be ok.


  • jgnat

    Swan hit the nail on the head when she said:

    You unwittingly set in motion a chain of events by firing JW employees, and that is obviously why they were after you.

    Petty men prove themselves small by their actions. In my mind, that is what has happened here. I believe the organization is fundamentally flawed to give imperfect men that much power to destroy lives. Where is the Holy Spirit in action, the fruits of the spirit, love, patience, kindness?

    Why not take advantage of your newfound freedom, and put up a Valentine's day and/or Robbie Burns day display?

    You may enjoy corresponding with Minimus, who also is a businessman with an ageing mother. His mother recently came under attack by the elders, by extension being punished for her son's actions. Minimus may be able to provide some sage advice.

    One of Minimus' threads about this:

    Another Elder Calls my Mom to Find out about Us...

  • betrayedbyall

    Thank you my yet undiscovered friend, it looks like there are a lot of us who are confused, why, because we love our creator, we love truth, but we do not subscribe to the unloving and strict rules of the WBS. Soon I feel, & hope we will find another way, a more loving way in which to worship our creator.

    once more I thank U for you words, they are very welcome and appreciated.


  • Aude_Sapere
    Do something harmless you've always wanted to do ... hell, celebrate your dog's birthday

    It's an innocuous start. And the dog will not be offended, won't ask questions and won't tell on you. A great idea. Made me laugh.

    Some things on this board just crack me up!

    I laugh I cry I love

    I love this board...

  • seattleniceguy

    A big welcome both to betrayed and Low-key Lysmith!

    I think Low-key said something interesting:

    The fact that I had listened to The Doors on occasion was brought up as a reason for my ousting. Crazy accusations of fornication, incest, violence, devil worship, the list goes on & on. I am a much better person now.

    I left in September 2003 because I figured out that the religion was false. It was extremely difficult to do, and it really hurt to come to that realization. But during this time, all the so-called "friends" could do was accuse me of being selfish, sinful, the spawn of Satan, etc, etc. It was really eye-opening to see how precious little compassion is in that organization.

    I agree with Low-key. I know I am a much better person now. Being a Witness actually inhibits a person from being truly good.

    Betrayed, you have some tough times ahead in terms of working through the emotions. But you will make it. You've got a lot of people that can identify with you here, and a lot of good information at your fingertips. I also heartily recommend that you read Ray Franz' book, Crisis of Conscience. It is excellent - eye-opening, but also warm and inspiring.

    Keep your chin up.


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