So p*****d off - need to offload

by neverin 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • neverin

    I am so angry - I've been a long term lurker here and an occasional poster but I have just got to offload tonight. Mom and I have never been 'in the truth' but my dad and 2 brothers are. Tonight my Dad told me that last night he resigned as an elder (which for me personally is great) but the reason is that because both my parents have health issues, especially Mom, my Dad has been given 6 months to get his act together and put some more hours in field service as he is 'not leading by example'. My fabulous Mom, who has put up with so much, has offered to leave my Dad so that he can dedicate himself to the WTBS but thankfully he has seen enough crap going on to realise that when push comes to shove it is my Mom who will always be there for him. He has resigned from his position of elder, H&S overseer for the quickbuilds and as cong secretary. What gets my goat is that 35 years of loyal service to his cong means nothing. Despite my Mom being 'worldly' she has never refused to help anyone and has accompanied my dad on many occasion (even in the middle of the night) to help others, my dad has always put the WTBS first, despite having us 3 kids, working shifts and having an 'unbelieving mate' and yet just because he and mom are now in their late 60's and have these ongoing health issues he is no longer 'worthy'. Amazing then that the man who abused me as a child (later to become an elder) was allowed to 'step down' for personal reasons after he had been arrested and the conregation were never told that they had a child molester amongst them yet my dad is put in an untenable position just because he is not physically fit enough to spend all of his time knocking doors. It is easy enough for those to point the finger who are spending hours every day 'on the work' who are also claiming state benefits paid for by my taxes yet those for whom it is a real labour get kicked in the teeth as soon as they start falling behind. I have not heard of one offer of help to spend time with mom or take her to any of her medical appointments whilst dad puts in the hours, but then I really beleive that it has been a set up as quite a few noses were put out of joint when dad insisted on making public the events surrounding the handleing of my abuser.

    Anyway I've got that off my chest but would appreciate any comments.

  • whyamihere

    Feel Better to unload huh?

    It makes me feels great...The only comment I can think of is That the JW's are full of SHIT! And be happy you know that!


  • candidlynuts

    hi neverin,

    i dont know what to say other than i hope now that your dads load is lighter he and your mom's health improves . nothing you posted suprises me. its happened time and time again.any time a jw steps up and stands up for his or her values they make themself a target to be shot down . if nothing else maybe he'll see the hypocrisy of whats said and whats really done in practice. hang in there!

  • Elsewhere
    I have not heard of one offer of help to spend time with mom or take her to any of her medical appointments whilst dad puts in the hours, but then I really beleive that it has been a set up as quite a few noses were put out of joint when dad insisted on making public the events surrounding the handleing of my abuser.

    This is because JWs only care about other JWs. Your mother is not a JW and therefore not deserving of any aid.

    Hopefully this time off will allow your dad to see just how messed up the WTS is.

  • stillajwexelder

    I would leave to see the hours of field service and record cards for the GB - even if there are hours on I bet it is for the time they can count for doing public talks

  • BrendaCloutier

    {{{ Never in }}} {{{ Neverin's Parents }}}

    Good rant. I hope you feel a little better now.

    Charity in the KH just isn't what it was when I was living at home with my parents (30+ years ago). Elder folk were cared for, picked up and taken to meetings, arrangements made for retirement centers when necessary, house oil bills paid, boxes of groceries left on doorsteps. It usually wasn't the WTBTS, but the elders and the attitudes of those in that cong. I knew of one elderly Elder who was not allowed to step down because he could no longer keep up with his responsibilities. He was well respected and carried by the others in the congretation.

    I know. Not all KH were that way. I would venture a guess that none are today.


    Psst: Peace begins with me - pass it on!

  • Dustin

    It sucks when those bunch of finger pointing idiots hurt people that don't deserve it. I just want to say I understand what it's like to see your dad removed as an elder over BS reasons. Just be thankful he loves your mom more than a false religion that hands out false hopes. Take care.


  • seeitallclearlynow

    This all sounds very typical for the Jehovah's Witnesses, neverin; and I'm sorry your family is now experiencing it for themselves. Hopefully this will be what helps them to see their religion for what it really is.

    I'm glad you're able to be there for your good parents too. That's wonderful. Thanks for posting this experience for others to see how things are done and how people are treated by the organization.

    Good job!

  • Purza

    A good vent does a body good! I don't have any words of wisdom -- but I do feel your anger. I have had flare ups of anger in the past two weeks mainly due to family issues. I hope your dad sees what a crock of crap the JW religion is and that he devotes more time to your mother. Best to her too.


  • orangefatcat

    I'm glad you got that all of your chest and now you can breathe easier. Nothing like being a wreck because of what Jehovah's Witness do or don't do. Its more don't do these days.

    We here care about you and your feelings. Many many of us have been extemely damaged by the Organization. I do agree though with one poster who said things were different 30 years ago. I can go back 40 some years and in those early yrs in the org. there were some very caring and loving persons who helped others with out thought of recompence. Today there is more selfishness that a bounds. That is one of my major reasons for leaving the organization. They only care about certain witnesses . We call them cliques.

    I can count numerous times that those who are poorer or lower class suffered in congregations because more affluent witnesses don't want to know that a lower class exists. They are all a stuffy bunch of hypocrites. Jesus said when you spread a feast invite the poor the down trodden. Do you know truly an y witness who takes that to heart. Okay maybe a few. All the congregations I was in in my latter years a s a witness prove to me that only those w ith money stick with others who have money . And the lower class only fit in with the lower class lthe less affluent. Its a fact and I knew because I have seen it go on for yrs and yrs. in all the congregations I had been in for the 38yrs I was a witness.

    In fact the witnesses would feel better knowing that no one is in need of help. I have seen a witness who is extremely wealthy invite only the wealthy to their get togethers in their private homes or resturants and be told not to mention to others in the KH. And how do I know this? Because my sister is wealthy and they only associate with other wealthy ones and vice versa. I use to help my sister set up her dinner parties and then not be invited. I guesss I was just a low class bum to her. But it peeved me to see their game in the KH.

    A brother had a huge party and he invited my sister and her family to his lavish weathy home he served fresh flown in lobsters from Newfoundland and scallops, Alaskan King Crab, shrimps the size of you hand and the best of best of foods. He tells everyone invited not to tell others in the hall, like me for example, but my mom also got to go as she sucked up to my sister all the time and they asked their friends if she could come to their gathering. I can list all those who went because my sister would brag about it and tell me not to tell others in the cong. Some had swimming pools and had swimming parties and get togethers and only certain families were allowed into their inner circle.

    It use to make me sick to see this going on. So now who's ranting. hehehe

    Dear friend I am so sorry your parents health is failing, I hope that they can get the proper care they need. And also about the fact you were abused, my heart goes out you and I hope you can get all the support you need. God bless you.

    all my love and caring


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