Did you exhibit some wierd behaviour ...

by Brummie 30 Replies latest jw experiences

  • PinTail
    PinTail

    Yeah if I seen a R rated movie at a theater or rented one I would look around to see if brother overseer was watching me. I moved away partly to get away form all that, then when like a fool I went back again I had to get on Paxial again. When I left I had lose bowels for a long time, When I drank a mug of beer I seen Angels looking at me in the beer, When I walk down the street I still feel I must wear horse blinders on so I won't look at all the babes, I still feel weird to have our american flag on my bumper.

    Am I happier now? Yeah I can feel Randy now and not be ashamed.

  • Swan
    Swan
    When the elders called me even at work

    Yeah, they did that to me too. I think they do it on purpose to catch you out of your comfort zone. It's intimidating to think that all of their dirty laundry with you could possibly get aired in your workplace.

    Tammy

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Cut up my arms, went to the nut house, and enjoyed seeing the bandages and knowing that the last of the "truth" had been bled out of me. Another year, and the tears were gone, too.

    Country Girl

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    I certainly did, Brumster. I went the total opposite way of the quiet, mild, devoted wife my ex had known for twenty years. I acted out big time. It's been over 6 years since I started my journey out and I am happy to say that for the most part, I've settled down to a happy, contented state. There are still issues I am contending with, of course, such as the fact that my 3 gorgeous nephews and their mother and father won't have anything to do with me...........my b-i-l was just appointed an elder. Out of my very tiny immediate family, only my mom still talks to me. The other day, my mom was going on about how much the nephews have grown and that they are attending college, etc. and I just hurt so bad that I told her that I would prefer NOT to hear about them at all, if they can't be in my life. My sister refuses to even give me pictures of them, and my mother won't give me any either. So...........I'm still dealing with how to live this "life after JW's"..........but, for the most part, I'm happy.

    Terri

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Oh, lawdha'mercy, yeahhhhhh, Brummie. With all that was going on around me when I made my exodus from the borganization, I was totally isolated from friends and family. What friends? And I was in California, where I knew no one outside the borg. Over the next four years, being isolated as I was, I still only thought the WTS was totally WRONG on the "love among yourselves" issue.....and I attempted suicide at least 4 times. But when I finally got online in 1999, I found xdub sites and began to realize what crap it all was.....if it hadn't been for the info available from xdub websites online, I'd probably still be muddling along....WHAT a RELIEF!!! But I was a total sh*t till I realized what cowpies the WTS teaches. Not much worth getting excited about, eh?

    Frannie B

  • ColdRedRain
    ColdRedRain

    I smoked, drank, worked on Teusdays and Thursdays, watched porn and listened to "unacceptable music"

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier

    Since I had moved congregations and cities when I got married at 18, I had no friends. I married into the wrong "weak" family and was shunned. Through it all I discovered a penchant for alcohol. So I drank, right along with that "good" JW man I married. He was alcoholic and devloped into a severe violent abuser. By the time I was able to leave him (after a suicide attempt via russian roulette which made me a believer in divorce), I was a raging alki myself. But, of course, it was his fault.

    It took another several years to be able to own my own alcoholism. When I finally went to a treatment center, they recognized a need to deprogram me from JW-ism, and helped me develop a loving Higher Power. Thank gawd.

    Weird? I've always been weird. Some things just never change! ...(brummie dots)...

    I'm glad ya'll are here, and not there.

    Love and hugs

    Brenda

    Psst: Peace begins with me - pass it on!

  • zealofjehu
    zealofjehu

    well i have not been throught most of theses things yet and i feel a little nervouse because i know that i will probubly in the next year or so as i might have to battle for the kiddies. but one thing i did notice evan after i made my mind up about the org two of my work friends were talking about conditions today and how bad they are and the first thing to pop into my mind was oh i have to tell them about the last days. i am glad that i try very hard to think before i speak because i have told them just a few minutes before all things i found out about the borg. it is nerve racking i think to find these mental device in our minds evan after we learned how full of **** they are

    man do i need a spell checker

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    i physically could NOT sit thru a meeting. i got really uncomfortable being around crowds and still do. no one in my family knows i dont believe anymore and i'm gonna keep it that way but i have told them i wont ever return. they didnt ask why, i didnt volunteer. all i'm actively doing is working on my younger kids, discouraging early baptism and telling them their options in life are open. everyone else is on their own. (ya know that " screw you" attitude i havent lost yet)

  • Gill
    Gill

    Wow! I'm so glad I just read this thread. I can just about recognise most of that behaviour in what I was like when I first started fading. My stomach was so bad that i had constant diahorrea because of my nerves. My counsellor and psychiatrist told me that what was wrong was that, in their words, 'You're just crapping on all that crap and you've got to let all those beliefs go. They're not true. Theyr're nonsense. But it will take time.'

    Now, I feel much better. But I didn't realise that the nervouse breakdown, agoraphobia, general illness was common in other people who discovered their lives had been wrapped in a lie.

    Since I found JWD I finally feel 'normal' at last. What ever that means. But I feel like me.

    Thanks JWD!

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