Frustration

Dustin

I just wanted to say hi to some people who might understand my frustrations. I quit the organization about 2 years ago. I was born into it, and stayed in it for 25 years. Then one day the frustration just boiled over. I have so much bitterness and hatred for the whole thing I don't even know where to begin. Over the course of these last 2 years I finally know what it's like to be normal, yet there's this emptiness that just won't go away. I'm trying to live life to its fullest now, because I always feel I have to make up for lost time. But no matter how hard I try I'm just angry because all I ever wanted was taken from me by a religion that I never really wanted. I wanted to play sports, go to prom, party a little, sing in a rock band, have friends to reunite with. These are all things I see other people do, and it frustrates me that my whole youth was consumed by this religion.

I keep trying, but no matter how hard I try and make the feelings of guilt go away they just keep lingering. I have gotten over some of it, yet even as I try to live a good life as a normal person, I have this ingrained sense of rejection and hate for God. It's actually hard to put into words all the mixed up feelings that I have after having my whole belief system shattered.

Does anyone else have this problem? I sometimes feel that no one understands.

devinsmom

Although no one can fully understand how you feel, I think a lot of people can relate, myself included, stick around you'll see.

What part of WI do you live in? I live west of madison.-April

Doubtfully Yours

Welcome to this community of friends.

I understand exactly where you're coming from. Same feelings here towards God and the WTBTS.

You're still plenty young to gain friends and a normal life. Just don't make a royal mess out of your life trying to 'catch up' as some put it.

You'll never catch up. Just understand what's happened and move on and up from that point.

Once again, welcome.

DY

OUT and about

All I can say is that I'm about 4 or 5 years out after being about 4 or 5 years in. And the emptyness didn't go away until I got married a year and a half ago, and really tried to change my life. I'm not saying you need to make a drastic life change. I'm just pointing out that what you feel is very normal given your time out after so much time in.

Good luck - Will

Elsewhere

I don't mean to make my reply so short and cold, but I found a great book to read is The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse.

It is geared for Christians, but even as a non-christian I found it very helpful.

You can find the book at Amazon or any other book store.

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse
by David Johnson

undercover

Welcome Dustin.

Many of us here have similar experiences and can empathize with you. This is a great place to vent, learn or meet others who understand our predicament.

Time heals a lot of wounds and even though we may never forget completely the years we wasted with the JWs, we can learn to cope and put away the anger and bitterness and learn to live as normal a life as possible.

Good luck on your new freedom.

blondie

I had much those same feelings when I was dealing with being sexually abused by my father and my mother knowing it and not protectng me and my siblings. There are some things I will never get back in the same way but rather than live in the past, I try very hard to live my life in the moment. It's only too late when you are dead.

I wanted to play sports, go to prom, party a little, sing in a rock band, have friends to reunite with.

So join a sports league: baseball, basketball, football, volleyball, etc, etc., in your area.

I know a man (50 plus) who started up a rock band locally with some friends and his son...never could in HS, had to work to support his family because he father died when he was 16.

Partying doesn't end in HS; I've been told the opportunities multiply amazingly.

Dustin, you are only 27 at the most. I was 49 when I woke up to the "truth" about the WTS and I was 33 when I started dealing with the abuse. So you have a 22-year head start on me.

Get involved in your community, volunteer, meet people....

Love, Blondie

stopthepain

Dustin-I hear you.Its like a ton of bricks hitting you when you finally have the realization of your past.You had everything in your life manipulated by your religion,your parents,all in the name of god.

It feel sometimes that Im just benig selfish feeling like"well,it could have been worse".Your "friends" from the hall aren't there anymore,your new friends can't relate to what youve been through,and that was some of the confusion I personally had.Feelings of guilt are going to linger on for a time.This is a complicated mess to get free of,emotionally,spiritually,even physically.

I can't say I know exactly what your going through ,but I think they are very similar.I will post again later on this subject.your not alone.P>S>dont even think about a "comeback"youll regret it-not that you would-just saying..................

cyber-sista

aloha Dustin,

I hear you--some days are better than others, but this is a good place to

come and unravel and process this stuff out of your system...time heals...

Love, cybs

lonelysheep

Hi Dustin! There are a lot of people (maybe even some who haven't posted yet) who understand where you're coming from. I can see how they can make people turn against God after leaving. This religion is what we're taught comes from God and that alone could make anyone want to throw up and forget I ever believed in him.

Talk to us anytime.

Elsewhere, thanks for that link. I will make it my next read after CoC.

Frustration

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