Why is it wrong for step-daughter to go from FT Pioneer to Aux. Pioneer?

by wordlywife 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  wordlywife

  Hi all- I haven't posted in quite a while but visit here a lot. I am a non-witness married to a reinstated JW. We were married when he was DF, long story. Ahy how, my concern is for my step-daughter who is really struggling with trying to support herself financially (car, insurance, all that goes alnog with being a young adult). She FT Pioneers and I asked my husband if she couldn't go to Auxilliary? He looked as though I had hurt him.. I had a talk (forgive me for using that term) with her about could she not Aux. Pioneer to help with her employment situation, to ease the restricted hours that she would be able to work? She said she had thought about it, but no more. She said she didn't like the thought of it being announced that she is no longer a FT Pioneer, but that was all.

  Is it a crime to Aux. Pioneer? If you are still doing God's work (can't do the trademark thing) in Field Service at all, then why he stigma? Why the fear? She'd still be going D to D. I just don't get it. I must not be enlightened.

  Anyone else in their former WT lives go from FT to Aux.? Why are people so afraid, they are still making a commitment even at the Auxilliary level, aren't they? I feel for her and hurt for her.

  Thanks all-
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  Joyzabel

  Its all about status in the congregation.

  Yes, it would be humiliating to your step-daughter to have to "step down" and not hold such a high status. In the congregation being a full-time pioneer? is the highest status a sister? can achieve.

  Kind of shows you how warped their thinking is. Poor thing. Slip her some cash and always show love and maybe you can begin to get her to think on her own. Especially how to use critical thinking in her life.

  Joy
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  stillajwexelder

  I once recommended a sister "step down" (yes that was the exact phrase I used) from Regular Pioneer to Reg Aux Pioneer and used the scriptural admonition in Micah 6 vs 8 - the congregation were OK with it and when I announced it I did it in a positive manner - depends on the congregation and the elder body , but yes many congregations view it in a negative light and that it is "stepping down"
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  OUT and about

  Worldly Wife - Is your husband also a full time pioneer?
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  melmac

  Hey, Out and About... we live so near! Welcome to the Board!
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  blondie

  About the only status women have in the WTS that is connected with being married to a brother is the pioneer work, the highest level being regular full-time. As far as I know, except for being a Bethelite or being a Gilead missionary, it is the only time you are directly appointed by the main headquarters....like the elders and MS.

  To step down is to admit failure.
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  Greenpalmtreestillmine

  In the Watchtower going from Pioneer to Auxillary is a stepping down of sorts. But there is also the private expectations and hopes we all put upon ourselves. Your step-daughter may feel she's letting God down or herself down for that matter. I've known several pioneers who have had to reduce their time and step into the auxillary work. They were sad about it but there was nothing they could do. Their circumstances demanded a change.

  As a Pioneer your step-daughter is considered among the elite of the Witnesses. If she marries, pioneering opens the door to missionary work, and other areas of full time service in the Witness religion. Perhaps you can encourage her to go to college in order to increase her earnings potential.

  You sound like a great Mom, just keep loving her like you do.

  Sabrina
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  Balsam

  Hi Worldly Wife,

  My ex-sister in law was a full time pioneer for 10 years, cleaning grocery store floors at night and going in the door to door all day. Well by they time she got in hr 30's she just could not do it anymore, she was burned out. Well she knew she was going to have to come off the full time pioneer list, which would be a drop in the esteme that the congregation held her in. She went though a terrible period of depression and upset for over a year. But she did go on to college on pell grants and finished top of her class as a dental hygentist. She never returned to full time pioneering, but aux. pioneers from time to time.

  You can just encourage her that Jehovah knows how hard it is and will understand if she goes to Aux. pioneering. That Jehovah would want her to take care of her health and job situation. Nothing wrong with that. Coming off the full time pioneer list makes one feel that they are somehow weak and not doing their best. It is more how she views it than the reality. Most of her fellow JW will understand if it has become too difficult to do do. Hope her Dad is not pressuring her to remain pioneering.

  Ruth
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  Preston

  Hi WW, and welcome back!

  In answer to your question....well...she gave you her answer:

  She said she didn't like the thought of it being announced that she is no longer a FT Pioneer, but that was all.

  Being a FT pioneer was a burden for her...however...she couldnt bear the public shaming through a verbal public announcement that one was no longer a "pioneer". I never understood why people had to be given titles in the congregation (isn't there some place in the bible that forbids that). In the "real" christian congregation I would imagine it to be a level playing field rather than feeling like you were never playing up to expectations from the most high (old dudes in Brooklyn). I wanted to be all of those things and you know what, I flat out couldn't auxillary, be a ministerial servant, and get my degree from ASU at the same time. When I put things into perspective I realized that hours and microphone handling wouldnt get you anywhere in life no matter how spiritual you wanted to be so I shirked both meetings and responsibilities. Later when I felt like I had nothing to lose then I came out to several people in the congregation as gay. It was only after I got past the fear that I found myself. I hope your daughter in law does something in her life that doesn't revolve around fear of your name being mentioned in a Kingdom Hall, I'd hate for her life to pass her by.

  BTW, in my kingdom hall, ministerial servants and elders decided it was wrong to say "step down". One merely "stepped aside" from their position. I respected them for making this decision since it lessoned the public humiliation bit that they employed at meetings around the country.

  - Preston.
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  wordlywife

  In answer to an earlier question, no my husband does not Pioneer (tm). He struggles with attending, although he attends almost every meeting. I never criticize my husband or his daughters for being witnesses, I love him and them without religious pretenses and unconditionally. I do try to offer a differing viewpoint hoping it may open them up to looking at things differently. Yes he does, I feel, pressure her to stay full time.

  I am quite the oppostie in my beliefs from theirs, so I am sure it is probably difficult at best for her to listen to what I might have to say about anything (I encourage her jobs prospects, most certainly the clerical vs. the janitorial or child care, I am a wordly wife after all). I do not want to make things difficult or be seen as discouraging her, so I try to ask if there are alternatives, so she can answer herself, as to what those may be. I am careful not to be critical, but do so feel for these kids (and adults) that they are expected to serve-serve-serve jehovah, but then are seen as materialistic for having a car and wanting to ave SOME sort of income.

  This Jehovah exacts a heavy toll from subjects, or rather the WTBTS. Glad the God I believe in really doesn't have a name, or answers by lots of different names. Eeeesh.