A Loving organization? (page 2)

startingover

Thanks everyone for your concern. I have to say that this situation was not wholely unexpected. She had been having severe headaches most of the time for quite a while, and even though every possible avenue was pursued a remedy was not found. I am fairly certain I would have blown my head off a long time ago if I had to deal with that. I know what a short fuse I have when I have a pounding headache. Dealing with problems in that condition is extremely difficult. I know she didn't want to die, she just got too close to the edge this time and fell off.

Although in her situation I'm not sure it was the JW thing that pushed her over the edge or even caused the depression. It may have contributed, as I remember one time she spoke about how the elders were really messing up their family life and she was about ready to quit over it. I guess I'll never really know now. Speaking for myself, I know that when I quit the religion the thoughts of suicide I occasionally entertained completely went away, as did the nagging depression. I realize now that I could not live in a situation where no matter what I did or accomplished it was never enough. To be content in my life I need to be able to accomplish something, to be able to sit back and look at the finished product and feel good about it. I still get down when things are looking bad, but I am amazed as it may last half a day and then any feelings of depression are gone.

I am not looking forward to the "proselytizing" memorial talk. That whole mindset really gets under my skin now. I have said to myself I would never set foot in a KH again, but never say never. I just realized that this means that I will have to get a suit out and brush the dust off the shoulders and put a tie on. I went to a non JW funeral recently and I just wore a shirt and tie, thinking I would dress down a little from what I was used to as a JW. Man was I overdressed. I bet I was one of only a couple men with ties and the place was full.

Dustin

I am truly sorry for your loss. As a former Jehovah's witness of 25 years, nothing they do surprises me anymore. It's sad they can't get past their own arrogance, and just do all they can to help the friends and family of the person. I understand why it's hard to go back to the kingdom hall, because they all act like they care, when usually they just want to judge you. Simply go to remember your friend, and I just want to express my sympathy to you in this time of loss.

Panda

What an extremely sad story. Your friends husband must be depessed himself now too.I also understand what a chronic illness can drive a person to do. I hope you bring comfort to the family of your friend.

vitty

I had a conversation with my daughter about someome whos son killed himself in August. she was was saying his parents dont attend meetings cos there a pair of manic depressives

If she had been in the same room and not on the end of a phone I think I would have struck her

I was so ashamed a daughter of mine had shown such lack of feeling. By the time id balled her out, i think I got through.

As someone who`s mother repeated tried to kill herself, I have only sympathy for her husband and family

Neo

Dustin,

I understand why it's hard to go back to the kingdom hall, because they all act like they care, when usually they just want to judge you.

Excellent summary of KH life.

Welcome!!!

Sassy

I remember the years when they considered suicide unacceptable and did not let them use KH for services. One of my closest friends mother committed suicide and their cong did have a service, then afterward an elder in a nearby hall wrote the society about it and they were all reprimanded for having had it.... this same elder threatened that if we attended my husband would no longer be used in the cong... and there would be other disciplary action... so we didn't end up going.. I was so upset.. there is so little love in that org... even with the rules changed. there is a lack of love still... sorry for your loss

upside/down

There was this sister (inactive) in our hall, in a very small town, that was the daughter of an elder who married a "worldly" man (so much public shame). They were married about 10 years and this poor guy struggled with the fact that he loved his wife and kids but would NEVER be accepted by his "Witness" relatives. One day during deep depression he laid down on the railroad tracks and was decapitated. Needless to say in a small west/central Iowa town, this was BIG NEWS! Even though this man was not a witness the town viewed him as one because of who he married.

The WORST part of all of this was while out in "service" with the PO and his wife they said,"Let's go check on sister "so and so" and "ENCOURAGE" her." We pulled into her driveway and I was told to stay in the car, as this was "elder" work. So the PO and his wife went to the door and I listened from the car. The actually OFFERED her the brochure (as she was sobbing) about when a loved one dies!! Told her to look up all of the scriptures as she would find much comfort there... as they returned to the car another car pulled up and some people (nonDubs) got out and had their hands full with dishes of food and other commodities. They simply handed her the food and said they would be back with more, not to worry about her kids as they would keep them entertained and then GAVE HER A HUG AND SAID THEY LOVED HER!!!!!!!!!!

I said why don't we offer some PHYSICAL aid. They (with contempt in their voices) told me that she didn't DESERVE more because she wasn't ACTIVE and married "out of the lord". I was never more embarassed or ashamed in my life. We were not loving to this person. I discussed it with my wife at the time and couldn't validate this absolutely horrible display of CHRISTIAN LOVE.

All I can say, is I'm sorry and it will NEVER happen again, in my presence!

u/d

OUT and about

Upside/down: WOW!

What a terrible, yet insightful account. It's stories like this that help conflicted ones begin to break the bonds with the Society. Thank you very much for this sad but telling post.

Oh, and happy birthday. Do we share the same? They have me down for today, but I'm actually going to be 30 tomorrow (Jan 1) at 8pm ish. Anyway, happy B'day!

Will

Pumple

Was it a blessing from jehober that dubs were not allowed to attend the memorials of people who committed suicides? If it was, how is it a blessing that jehober changed his mind now?

Great reasoning in the 77 watchtower. If there's a chance to shove your religion down the deceased one's un-believing relatives throats, it's okay to attend the memorial or give a PR-speech about Dubland. Where did we forget about respecting the deceased?

Reminds me of my grandmoms funeral, she was a dub to the end (didn't commit suicide), her best friend's husband (an elder) didn't attend the memorial 'cause my df'd aunt was present.

startingover

Just looking over some of my old posts and I came upon this. Just wanted to share an update on this situation.

The husband, who never thought he could find anyone again, found someone and he fell in love again. He married her a year and a half ago.

Last Saturday, I went to her funeral. She dropped dead of an aneurysm. I feel so bad for the guy. He said it's just not fair. That's an understatement. .

A Loving organization?

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