Breaking the ice (page 2)

Panda

Welcome to your new favorite forum! Telling a school counsellor is a good idea IF the counsellor understands NOT to relate this information to your parents. Actually they (the councellor) will not take any action unless your parents begin to restrict your school activities or lock you in a closet. Maybe explaining the harsh side of shunning will help the counsellor understand better. Even better tell your school counsellor about this website.

Get a plan. How are your grades? Are you involved in extra activities at school? I know right, how could you be with JW parents? OK well I'm just thinking of your college transcripts, extra curicular activities are viewed favorably. Do you live in a state which has funding for the top 10% of students? Focus on school. Tell your parents that you are thinking of accounting (that way you can help at assemblies etc) this will at least buy you a few years at home.

Good luck and please let us know how you are. I have received support here and I know you will too.

Golf

Greetings and welcome. Your dad being a 'super' elder? Hmmmm. I'm going to assume that your dad is not going to like hearing what you told us? So, if you can stay cool for as long as you can, your better off. Why invite unnecessary frustration and distractions at your young age? You have school to finish take advanatge of it.

On the other hand, if you are a challenging person you would go for the throat! This way, you know where you stand, besides, your underage, will he throw you out of the house, nahhhh. If you want to test out the 'super' elder this is the route to take. If not, follow the 'gentler' suggestions that others have given you.

Guest77

Billygoat

I hate to say it, but in your situation, it might be better to "fake it until you make it on your own". It's three years before you can legally be on your own. In the meantime, do the smallest amount possible to keep your parents happy. Be the good son, take out the trash, help mom with your siblings, do your homework, make good grades, go to the meetings, etc. But when they ask you about getting baptized you could always use this logic: "I understand you want me to get baptized, but I'm just not ready. I can't drive, I can't live on my own, I'm not old enough to get married. This decision is much bigger than any of those things...I want to make it on my own time and when I'm mature enough." Hopefully, they will see the logic of your words and at least lay off your back.

This is actually a lesson in adulthood...balancing making people happy AND taking care of yourself at the same time. It's an invaluable lesson that too many of us don't learn until we're much older. Maybe you'll get a head start and end up being ahead of all of us fogies!

Andi

Fleur

welcome! I think that there's lots of good advice in this thread but Andi's is right on the mark. I know that it's a tough spot to be in, but in just a few years you can really make it out on your own if you play it cool now.

Also another word of advice: if your parents have access to the computer you are using to visit this forum, I would recommend that you be sure to empty the cache/history when you're done here. Don't leave any sign that you post here.

hugs

essie

Doubtfully Yours

Hi, and welcome to this wonderful community!

You're still too young. It'd be to your great disadvantage to go against your parents' wishes right now.

I'm way older and it's still tough for me to let the cat out of the bag just yet.

Just go along to get along for now. However, you can give them all hints that you're not that interested and that the minute you're old enough and independent you're history as far as religion is concerned. That's what my sister did, and they have accepted her stance and don't give her any problems. She started hanging out with the spiritually weak ones, and also missing as many meetings as possible with silly 'don't feel good' excuses. She sure did it well.

She lives far away from the family and has pursued her education and traveling dreams.

Just my suggestion. Take good care of yourself.

DY

filip

thanks for all the advice. I really didnt knew if I should tell them or not. They already know that im not very spiritually, cause I never answer at the meetings, I only have 5-6 hours in the field service and so on, they can just feel it. But somehow they still think that I believe in "the truth".

Its funny, everytime I enter this website I still have this creepy feeling of sinning, like if I were selling my soul to satan (although I dont believe in that guy anymore). It just sits so deep inside me.

One of the main reasons why I would tell them, was that I was thinking that it would give me more freedom, that I wouldnt have to go the meetings and I could be with "worldly people" and just generally live the life as "worldly people". But what youre telling me sounds like, that if I told them the complete opposite would happen.

Breaking the ice