Breaking the ice

by filip 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • filip
    filip

    I have now for 1 or 2 years or so slowly slipping further and further away from "the truth". For that period I've been wondering if there existed a god, and if Jehovahs witness was the only "right" religion and so on. I've really been split.

    I mean, all my life I've been with Jehovahs Witnesses, I was born into a JW-family, and I have never really doubted it, cause it just seemed so natural, vereywhere I went with m family there were JWs, so it just seemed like the lwa of the universe that JW are right. But now I wont take it anymore. For a couple a months ago, it just hit me... that I dont believe in that c##p. It felt like I had been blinded my whole life and just now i realized the "truth".

    But my problem is that, since im only 15 Im still living with my parents. And I havent told anyone how I feel, so therefor everyone just thinks that Im a "good, spiritual young man", and expects me to get baptised soon and so on. Its goin to be really hard to tell everyone that "hey, I dont believe in your s##t anymore". Especially since my dad is this kind of "super-elder", and Im scared that if I tell him, instead of just accepting it, he would just make me study the bible even more and make field-service plans for me and lock me in my room.

    So... how did you break the ice, and tell your family and the "friends from the congregation" that you didnt wanted to be a part of this clownshow anymore?

    thanks

  • vitty
    vitty

    Hi

    My experience with my son who is now 17

    A few years ago he said he didnt want the truth and that it was all crap. He was so bolshy and anti witness it sent me into a panic,and I didnt want to know or hear his reasons. I was SCARED

    I arranged for him to have a study he didnt want I was terrified I would lose him to the world

    This went on for about 18 months I really pressured him and pinned him down Now you dont want that

    There is little you can do at the moment as you are only 15, so take it easy. Say you dont want to be baptized until you feel absorlutly sure in your own mind about making your dedication, that it will be your decision and that you dont want to do it cos all your friends are. They will feel you are being mature and wont feel the need to justify your position to there friends, after all they are under peer pressure aswell

    You dont know what happens in the future, finish your schooling go to college And never get baptized

    As a family we havent gone to a meeting for 7 months And we were one of the strongest families in the congregation, so take it easy , all the best

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I wonder if telling your feelings and fears to a social worker would help.

    You can let them know your situation and how you feel that your parents would likely make things very difficult for you. I have no idea if they can do anything to prevent your parents from pressuring you to join their religion, but I think it is worth a try.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Welcome filip, we have been where you are . When the scales fall away from your eyes and one sees the reality clearly for the first time , the whole "J W Truth" thing just unravells before you.

    How do you draw away if your family are so entrenched? Slowly.. It is just as hard if one is 50 or 15 . Let them get used to the idea gradually. And in your case you may have to wait until you are older to be able to really stand alone . But there is no need to be pressured into baptism just take it slowly though. and keep checking the net for more info so you can give informed answers to their arguments . Good luck.

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    I was in the same boat when I was 17. I had no plan and just blurted out everything. Ended up being asked to leave, but because I didn't have a plan I ended up having to go back. It took another 8 years before I left again (for good this time).

    Should you say something, you can expect a lot of pressure from your parents because your father is an elder. If you leave the faith when you are living at home, there is a good posiblity he could be deleted as an elder for having an unbelieving child. Many times, "priviledges" take precident over good parenting, remember that.

    My advice to you is, don't do anything rash, until you are prepared.

    Good luck.

    Kwin

  • one
    one

    WHY?

    why do you need to break the ice? you may regret the consequences, specially since you are under age.

    If you open your mouth your father is toast, he will most likely be deleted for no being able to restrain a minor. Dont hurt your father if there is no need to do it, if you can play the game. I dont see why you can't. It is more fun AND you are in control.

    If you open your mouth it is war and who knows the consequences, some parents have trown ther children out the house for not accepting the "truth"., why complicated things

    It is much better to play cool, eventually you may find ways to help your family to see have you have seen already.

    Just check this website and ask question.

  • avishai
    avishai
    I wonder if telling your feelings and fears to a social worker would help.

    Or a school counselor. Show your dad the letter from the UN stating that the dubs belonged from 1991-2000. I'll try and find the link. Better yet, put it in a strategic place like his bookbag.

  • one
    one

    about baptims

    tell them that you want to be totally responsible for it therefore you going to wait until you are of legal age... during the mean time you dont have to go wild to enjoy life, if you want to do something out of the ordinary find an excuse to go out town.

    Usually they all know what young jw people do, but as long as they do not see it they dont care, they were young too. .

  • avishai
    avishai

    http://www.sassquatch.com/SYN/UN_NGO_Letter/

    Here is that link. While I don't agree with the tone of "one"'s letter, I do say keep a low profile for now, it's good advice.

  • redskymedic
    redskymedic

    I was raised a JW as well and I wish that I had come to my senses at 15! While I knew being a JW was not what I wanted, I was already baptized and either had to play along or be totally abandoned by my JW family at a very young age. I really don't know what would be best at your age. If you blurt out this is not what you want, you will probably send them into a panic. They will try and pound even more scriptures into your head, study more often. You will be less likely to get any normal amount of freedom that a 15 yr old JW gets. Your parents at this point in time pretty much have the upper hand. Not a bad idea to contact your school conselor about the situation.

    In your shoes, I would be inclined to 'fake' it until 18 and under no circumstances get baptized!

    It is much better to play cool, eventually you may find ways to help your family to see have you have seen already.

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