What do ya do when...

by missy04 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • missy04
    missy04

    You're 18, (considered an adult), want to move out of your parents house to get away from your dysfunctional mom, and can't because you feel guilty leaving your mom and dad because your parents have alot of health problems?

    I absolutely cannot function in this environment. It's just nuts. But as soon as I mention possibly leaving, the guilt trips start. I want to help them but there is only so much I can do. If I left I would get a job wherever I went and send them money or whatever to help..

    ~Sarah

  • Hecklerboy
    Hecklerboy

    It's great that you still want to help them as much as possible. If their health problems don't require your constant attention, I see no reason for you to stay. If it does require some help by someone, there are services that will come into your parents home to help them with everyday chores like cleaning and bathing. My mother for example has a lady come in every morning to help her with cleaning and bathing. I'm over 2 hours aways so I can't help with these things. I still visit her regularly and help with money when it's needed. I also have siblings that live closer than me and help out allot.

    I hope your considering going to college or at least a vocational school when you move out. Life can be pretty hard without a higher education. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    You're so sweet Myssy ... Look that's very cool ... but you won't be able to really help if you don't feel good yourself = you have to take care of yourself too (your parent should be able to understand - not sure - anyway it is your right) Also as said by Hecklerboy some organisations are made for that ... (and when you can't no more ... what is going nuts good for ?)

    Take care ...

  • MegaDude
    MegaDude
    But as soon as I mention possibly leaving, the guilt trips start

    Who starts the guilt tripping?

  • missy04
    missy04
    I hope your considering going to college or at least a vocational school when you move out. Life can be pretty hard without a higher education. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

    Yah, I am eventually. I don't really know when, just that if I stay here I'll end up pulling out all my hair lol and I'll never get anything accomplished.

    ~Sarah

  • missy04
    missy04
    (and when you can't no more ... what is going nuts good for ?)

    Totally agreed. That's exactly the point.

  • missy04
    missy04
    Who starts the guilt tripping?

    my mom. She overheard a conversation with a good friend of mine from the board here last night, when I was talking about possibly leaving. She started in with "if you do that you will be killing your father." and "over my dead body"

  • KKLUV155
    KKLUV155

    Missy,

    I know exactly what you are going through. I went through the same thing with my folks, only I was 21. My mom would start on me about if I leave and she dies it would be my fault. I had to hide the fact that I was dating someone for several months. He proposed to me and I turned him down because of my mom. He convinced me that if I leave, my parents would survive and I trusted him and got married and my parents are still alive. It has been almost 13 years now. You parents will survive. Are you the youngest sibling? If so that is the reason they don't want you to leave. The empty nest syndrome. They have been Mom and Dad for so long they don't know how to be any thing else. I hope all goes well with your decision.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Sorry to hear this Missy.

    It's great that you feel that you want to help your parents, but in the end, the only person's happiness that you are responsible is yourself.

    I recommend reading this book:

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060928972/ref=sib_rdr_dp/103-9273582-8395867

    I have a feeling that it will read like a biography for you.

    Best,

    Paul

  • Preston
    Preston

    Missy,

    You're a very nurtuing and sympatheitc person....with that in mind, I hope you move out soon. Your parents are dependant on your good qualities, however.... they need to respect the fact that you deserve to live your own life. You can't live through other people like this. I hope things work out...

    - Preston

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