Dear Friends:
I found out on Friday evening, my brother-in-law has cancer. We don't know much at this point, but the prognosis is not good.
The tumors started in his lungs and traveled to his brain where several lesions formed. Yesterday (Monday) a neurosurgeon removed the largest, about the size of a plum. (Why do doctors frequently refer to growths in your body in terms of fruit?) The removed tumor was causing inflammation and symptoms and now the mass can be tested by a pathologist.
My sister and her husband have no children. They are quite literally everything to each other. He served as an elder for many years and left because he ran afoul of the "alpha elder" in his congregation. He was one of those good elders you hear about. He sincerely tried to do his best, given the restrictions of the JW mentality.
The man in the bed next to my sister's husband was a born-again Christian and might as well have been a JW. Everything - no kidding everything - he said and did was in connection with "The Lord". He and his family attempted to pray with and over us. While appreciative of their sincerity and respectful of their committment, it was difficult to deal with. The man was suffering from terminal bone cancer and was in excrutiating pain. Still, he felt the presence of his Lord. I wondered why The Lord did not bother to answer his prayers and take away his agony. At one point the man, hidden by a dividing curtain between the two beds, said: "Maybe The Lord is telling you it's time to slow down so that you can get to know Him."
I must have snapped, because I said, "If The Lord wanted my brother-in-law's attention, isn't there a less painful way he could have use to get it?" I know he is sincere, and because of my background, I am trying to be tolerant, but if I'd had to listen to "praise his Name" one more time, I might have started chanting Satan Hymns.
I'm exhausted and so is my sister. She is trying so hard to be strong for her husband but when she goes home she just shatters. In her weaker moments, she remembers what it was like to have such a sure understanding of what happens after death and how confident she used to be about Jehovah's involvement in all things. However...the reality is this: the man in the next bed did not get relief from Jesus. He only got relief from his suffering when the nurse got the go-ahead for an extra dose of meds from the doctor. My brother-in-law has a better support structure among his new "worldly" friends than he ever got from the JW's.
If any of you have knowledge of non-small cell carcinoma of the lungs, I could use your input. The cancer has matastisized and spread to his brain. With all due respect, I am not interested in faith-healing, prayer cures, or miracle wheat. This guy never smoked a day in his life, was a serious athlete, and is barely 45 years old.
Thanks doesn't begin to cover it,
Wasa