New here, would like to say hello.

by puff candy 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • puff candy
    puff candy

    Hi to everyone here! I just registered right now. I would like to introduce myself. I am a 30 year old female and NOT a JW but my Mother is so thats how i came by this site. I have been looking for somewhere like this to talk about my feelings toward the JW religion. My Mother has been JW since i was 16 and basically she still try,s to convert me. I am only just coming to terms with the fact that i sort of lost her years ago. She has married a lovely JW man but he is very strict about it and i feel as though i lost more of her since she married. I have been through all the family break-up and my family is in bits, she says that she was told to expect this when she found the "truth". I myself have read the watchtower to please her as she try,s to make me feel guilty by saying "please if you read a half hours worth it will save your life" and "i dont want to be in the paradise without you".......now i am getting tired of it....i have read and i disagree but try telling her that...she will say tha satan is trying to put other things in my way to make me too busy to be bothered. I have done so many bible study,s and listened intently that i have kinda made up my mind that it,s not for me. Now that i am backing off i hardly hear from her. We have always been so close even although i wouldnt say she was ever a model Mother before converting. I am so sad at this. She says it makes her sad that i cant give Jehovah a half hour. She said when it came to fill her book she felt sad that she couldnt add my study.....more like to me that she hadnt made up the hours. She sends me tracts all the time. I cant visit as they talk non stop about it. I have been taking medication for depression and she tells me not to be too sad about things in this system as it will end soon. I am dreading having a go about it as i think it would blow!! I worry for the future. I am planning a wedding and my Mother hinted that it would be better if we just went and did it ourselves....it would be in a registry office......is it not very appropriate for Jw,s even although it,s not religous? The rest of the family keep away from her exept me. I cant seem to chat on the phone for long with her as she is busy doing whatever...if it was a bible study she would be on for hours. If i am not willing to chat about the bible then it,s like small talk. Is she trained by JW to keep her contact minimal...even although i am her daughter. The reason i am so angry is that her very good friend was disfellowshipped and she said she cant ever talk to her.......i said wht if she has depression and needs a friendly voice but no way, she has turned her back on jehovah. This made me think that no matter what happens they stick to the teachings. I did once say can you not talk SO much about it and her husband went red and told me that they would NOT stop talking of Jehovah,s teachings for anything or anyone. My Mother loves her religion and her husband more than me...thats how i fell. I am sorry to ramble on but i look forward to reading more on these boards. I have learned a lot by internet searches. If i told her i was on her she would talk to her husband and they would discuss how satan knew i was reading the watchtower at first and now he is making it difficult for me to learn more. I especially look forward to hearing about how they manipulate as at the moment i feel very submissive and i need to get stronger. Thank you.

  • codeblue
    codeblue

    Welcome puff candy!!!

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    Hi puff candy and welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear that you're experiencing what so many others have before you, in dealing with the coldness of some JW's toward non-JW family members. It's so unnatural and confusing and hurtful. You'll learn a lot about the reasons for it here, so get comfy!

  • MonkeyPrincess
    MonkeyPrincess

    Welcome!
    I wish i had some advice for you about your mom, but i dont. Im sorry that this is happening to you, but she is indeed told to limit her association with you, and other non-beleiving family members.
    That is all too familiar.
    I am sure that someone on this board will be able to answer your questions and help you along, there is alot of good information here.
    Take care and i hope you find what it is you are looking for.

    MonkeyPrincess

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Hi Puff Candy, thats some pretty intensive energy, I don't have family in the Truth but there are many here who will welcome you in your quest for comfort from the maniacal reasonings of the WTBTS.

    Welcome.

    Phess

  • under74
    under74

    Hi Puff Candy. Welcome to the forum.

    I think if you stick around you're going to find that many here are going through the same thing you are...many in the WTS form a kind of conditional love towards people/family outside the religion and it's tough to cope with. I wish I could tell you what to say or do in order to make your mother snap out of it, unfortunately it's not as simple as that...but like I wrote before if you stick around you'll see how others are dealing with the same situation.

  • Granny Linda
    Granny Linda

    Welcome.

    Sorry hearing about your mom. It gets weird with Jw's, that's for sure.

    It's been many a year since I've spoken with my mother, and aside from being one of the shunned, I realized we really had nothing in common. She would call collect, complaining about my "wordly" brother and all his problems, and I just got tired of hearing about him.

    For JW's it's always how Jehovah is going to make everything better...why should my mom look at her own responsibility for how my brother might have been adversely affected by such hatred as put out by that religion. Sanctioned by her.

    Basically I think Jw's are warped in their thinking when it comes to how they treat family. It can get depressing at times, but we can learn how to deal with the negative aspect. So stick around.

    GL

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    Welcome Puff Candy !

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Hi, Puff! Welcome to the forum! Your story is so much like so many others...........you've come to the right place tho. You'll soon become an old hat at the whole JDub mind set, and hopefully we can support you emotionally while you adjust to the situation with your mom. I was a dub for twenty-five years myself, and I left about six years ago. My mom and sis are still in and while my sister won't speak with me at all, nor her boys, my nephews, my mom does talk with me. I was DF'd by them, with my wholehearted permission, actually, as it was MY decision that I had had enough of their "paradise" and mind control. We are a mixed group here.........some were Witnesses, some still are, some are like you, so sit back, read, and educate yourself, and feel free to jump in anytime!

    Hugs,

    Terri

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    Welcome to the board!

    Kwin

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