Celebrating Wedding Anniversaries

by steve2 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • steve2
    steve2

    Does anyone know the history of celebrating wedding 
    		anniversaries within 
    the Watchtower Society (i.e. 
    		when was the celebration of such anniversaries 
    officially sanctioned?).
    I could never reconcile the way in which JWs enthusiastically a
    		nd unquestioningly 
    celebrated wedding anniversaries, 
    		yet roundly condemned the celebration of
     birthdays. 
    Practically every single argument JWs use to condemn birthday 
    		celebrations 
    could be just as forcefully used against 
    		the celebration of wedding anniversaries:
     1) First century Christians did not celebrate wedding 
    		anniversaries; 
    2) Wedding anniversaries are simply "birthdays" of marriages; 
    3) All the attention is on the couple (compared with all 
    		the attention on the person 
    having the birthday) when it should be on Jehovah; 
    4) Christians don't need a date on a calendar to signify their love;
    		 they show love 
    everyday, etc. 
    5) dates on calendars pressure people to buy gifts;
    6) (Closely related to the first point): It is non-Christian 
    		origin
    I'm perfectly happy about the celebration of wedding 
    		anniversaries or any 
    anniversary for that matter. 
    		It has just always 
    		seemed to me to be inconsistent to 
    be so judgemental about 
    		birthday celebrations, but to bring out the champagne
    in celebration of wedding 
    		anniversaries.
    Is there a Watchtower scholar on line? 
  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    Excellent post, steve and welcome to the forum!!

    I'll get a few articles for you in a minute....

  • MonkeyPrincess
    MonkeyPrincess

    Great post indeed.
    Im looking forward to seeing what comments there are on this, being that my jw parents anniversary is
    this weekend. Even though i am df'd, and they somewhat try and shun me (i just wont hear of it, so i
    invite myself over whether they like it or not. LOL), anyways, i still make it a point to make a big deal out of it for them. I bought
    presents and am taking them over on saturday. I would love to confront them with this question, and then have some
    great comeback. I will be checking back on this thread.

    btw, Welcome Steve!

  • MungoBaobab
    MungoBaobab

    The line of reasoning is that since those in the Bible celebrated weddings, it's okay to celebrate the anniversary of the wedding. The logical fallacy is that Jesus' birth was celebrated, and Witnesses continue to celebrate births through baby showers, etc. So why not mark the anniversary of one's birth?

    It's really sad to see these JW Chirstmases held on married couples' anniversaries, where the whole family exchanges gifts. And the "potty training parties." Just celebrate frickin' birthdays already. But God's people didn't do it? Herod, despite being characterized as a monster, was still debateably one of "God's people," and as far as Pharoah's birthday, the Isrealites who wrote and read the account were sure familiar with the custom, weren't they?

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    *** w98 10/15 pp. 30-31 Questions From Readers ***

    Many

    of Jehovah?s Witnesses observe wedding anniversaries. A birthday is an anniversary of when you were born. So why celebrate wedding anniversaries and not birthday anniversaries?

    Frankly, there is no need for a Christian to celebrate either. [NB: Apparently, there is no need for joy or celebration in a person's life] Still, that does not mean that the two are equal in import or that Christians must view the former (wedding anniversaries) as they do birthday celebrations.

    As noted, it can be said that both are anniversaries because an "anniversary" is ?the annual recurrence of a date marking some event.? It could be an anniversary of any event?the day you had an automobile accident, saw an eclipse of the moon, went swimming with your family, and so on. It is clear that Christians do not turn every "anniversary" into a special day or have a party to commemorate it. One should consider the aspects of an event and decide what is fitting.

    For example, God specifically instructed the Israelites to celebrate annually the day when his angel passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and the resulting exodus of his people in 1513 B.C.E. (Exodus 12:14) When Jews, including Jesus, subsequently commemorated the anniversary of that event, it was in obedience to God?s direction, and they did not do so with a party or with gift-giving. The Jews also treated as special the anniversary of the rededication of the temple. Though commemorating this historical event was not commanded in the Bible, John 10:22, 23 suggests that Jesus was not critical of its being done. [NB: Indeed, it implies that Jesus celebrated Hannukah. But I guess that holiday is banned too?] Finally, Christians have a special meeting on the anniversary of Jesus? death. Of course, this is done out of obedience to a clear command found in God?s Word.?Luke 22:19, 20.

    What about wedding anniversaries? In some lands it is common for husband and wife to take note of the anniversary of their entering the marital state, an arrangement that God originated. (Genesis 2:18-24; Matthew 19:4-6) [NB: Bait and switch: These verses do not discuss wedding anniversaries] Certainly, the Bible does not put marriage in a bad light. [NB: Assymetric contrast with birthdays: the Bible similarly does not depict birth as wrong; Jesus' own birth was celebrated when he was born] Jesus both attended a marriage celebration and contributed to the pleasure of the occasion.?John 2:1-11.

    It thus would not be strange that a couple might on their wedding anniversary [NB: Who would even consider the implied idea that it is "strange" to observe one's anniversary; this wording is a little "strange"] take time to reflect on the joyfulness of that event and on their resolve to work for success as a couple. Whether they focus on this happy occasion in private [NB: Clearly preferred], just as a couple [NB: This is redundant, how is observing an anniversary "just as a couple" different from "in private"? Again, this is what is preferred], or they have a few relatives or close friends with them [NB: Note that this is the implied upper limit. God forbid anyone have a party, or even invite the whole family] would be for them to decide. The occasion should not become a mere excuse for a large social gathering [NB: Again, God forbid anyone ever holds a party or celebration. So what if your parents are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary; best to just invite "a few relatives"?]. On this occasion Christians would want to be guided by the principles that apply every day of their lives. So whether one takes note of a wedding anniversary or not is a personal matter [NB: But that doesn't stop the Watchtower from suggesting how it should be celebrated, by disdaining any "large social gathering" that could be enjoyed].?Romans 13:13, 14.

    What, though, about taking special note of a birthday? Do we have any indications from the Bible about such an anniversary?

    Well, early in this century, Bible Students, as Jehovah?s Witnesses were then known, did take note of birthdays. Many of them kept small books called Daily Heavenly Manna. These contained a Bible text for each day, and many Christians put a tiny photograph on the pages corresponding to the birthdays of fellow Bible Students. Also, The Watch Tower of February 15, 1909, related that at a convention in Jacksonville, Florida, U.S.A., Brother Russell, then president of the Society, was ushered onto the platform. Why? He was given a surprise birthday present of some boxes of grapefruit, pineapples, and oranges. That gives us a glimpse of the past. To put matters in their context, recall that during that period, Bible Students also commemorated December 25 as the anniversary of Jesus? birth, or birthday. It was even customary to have Christmas dinner at the Brooklyn headquarters.

    Of course, since then God?s people have grown spiritually [NB: Without any biblical support, they imply that birthday celebrations are evidence of immature spirituality] in many respects. In the 1920?s increased light of truth enabled them to see the following:

    Jesus was not born on December 25, a date linked to pagan religion. The Bible directs us to commemorate the date of Jesus? death, not the anniversary of his or anyone else?s birth [NB: To use this as an argument against birthdays would be using a fallacious argument from silence. I can think of some rather crude analogies to show how silly this argument is]. Doing so accords with Ecclesiastes 7:1 [NB: This is not counsel against celebrating birthdays. If it were, then it would similarly be wrong to ever laugh (cf. Ecclesiastes 7:3)] and the fact that how a faithful person?s life turns out is more important than the day of his birth [NB: It actually refers to the "day of death" than the gentler "how a person's life turns out". So instead of celebrating birthdays, as the WTS recommends on the basis of this verse, should we have a party on peoples' death dates instead?]. The Bible has no record that any faithful servant celebrated his birthday [NB: Another fallacious argument from silence. The Bible has no record of any faithful servant urinating. Would it then be wrong to do so because the Bible didn't record any faithful person doing it?]. It records birthday celebrations of pagans, linking these occasions with cruel acts. [NB: Insufficiant sample for this claim. There are only two birthdays mentioned, if we omit the birthdays of Job's sons. A grand total of two incidents is an insufficent basis for making a far-reaching generalization. Does the Bible ever say that birthdays in general are bad or that bad things do happen frequently when they are celebrated? By way of comparison, the Bible mentions dogs many, many times more than birthdays and almost every reference to dogs puts them in a negative light. Does that mean we should not own dogs as pets?] Let us get the background of those birthday anniversaries.

    The first is the birthday of the Pharaoh in Joseph?s day. (Genesis 40:20-23) In this regard, the article on birthdays in Hastings? Encyclopædia of Religion and Ethics begins: "The custom of commemorating the day of birth is connected, in its form, with the reckoning of time, and, in its content, with certain primitive religious principles." Later, the encyclopedia quotes Egyptologist Sir J. Gardner Wilkinson, who wrote: "Every Egyptian attached much importance to the day, and even to the hour of his birth; and it is probable that, as in Persia, each individual kept his birthday with great rejoicings, welcoming his friends with all the amusements of society, and a more than usual profusion of the delicacies of the table."

    Another birthday celebration mentioned in the Bible is Herod?s, at which John the Baptist was beheaded. (Matthew 14:6-10) The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia (1979 edition) provides this insight: "The pre-Hellenistic Greeks celebrated the birthdays of gods and prominent men. G[ree]k genéthlia designated these celebrations, while genésia meant a celebration commemorative of the birthday of a deceased important individual. In 2 Macc[abees] 6:7 we find reference to a monthly genéthlia of Antiochus IV, during which the Jews were forced to ?partake of the sacrifices.? . . . When Herod celebrated his birthday he was acting in accord with a Hellenistic custom; there is no evidence for the celebration of birthdays in Israel in pre-Hellenistic times." [NB: This may be an accurate summary of the evidence. But the WTS wants to use this as an argument from silence that birthdays were not in fact celebrated. But this not known for a fact]

    Admittedly, true Christians today are not preoccupied with the roots and possible ancient religious connections of every practice or custom [NB: True Christians may not have any hang ups about the roots and obsolete "ancient religious connections" of holidays, but Witnesses certainly do!], but neither are they inclined to ignore pointed indications that do exist in God?s Word [NB: Arguments from silence and hasty generalizations do not constitute "pointed indications" by any usual stretch of the imagination]. This includes that the only birthday celebrations of Biblical record are of pagans and linked to instances of cruelty. [NB: And Pharaoh's birthday is also linked to justice and blessings for the cup bearer. Even the "act of cruelty" fulfills Joseph's prophecy and reveals God's presence with Joseph. This "bad light" argument against birthdays is very weak. The only references to the Last Supper in the Bible link it to acts of betrayal (in the case of Judas) and cruelty (in the case of Jesus' arrest and execution). And yet though it is linked to acts of cruelty we are still to observe the Last Supper?] Hence, the Scriptures clearly place birthday celebrations in a negative light [NB: And yet it describes a joyful celebration of Jesus' birth], a fact that sincere Christians do not disregard.

    Consequently, while it is entirely a private matter if Christians choose to take note of their wedding anniversary, there are good reasons why mature Christians abstain from celebrating birthdays.

  • MonkeyPrincess
    MonkeyPrincess

    Thank You Leolaia for posting all that info. Its interesting how they say to make it a private matter to celebrate an
    anniversary. My sisters and I had a HUGE 25th anniversary party for my parents. Almost everyone from two
    congregations were there including elders. We had a dj and bar, the works. I guess they dont read and apply their own material.

    I also find it hysterical about the Christmas dinner at the Brooklyn Headquarters. Can you imagine being there to see that!!!

    Monkey

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia
    I also find it hysterical about the Christmas dinner at the Brooklyn Headquarters. Can you imagine being there to see that!!!

    Actually, I do believe there are photos of this. I've seen it in one of the publications, not sure if official or "postate".

  • Pole
    Pole

    Hi steve.

    At least in some European countries JWs also attach a lot of pomp and circumstance to wedding anniversaries.

    I guess that's how they make up for missing out on birthday parties. Of course their argumentation is only meant to appease their "Christian consciences".

  • redhotchilipepper
    redhotchilipepper

    Good points! I always did wonder myself, why this celebration was acceptable but others weren't. I guess I didn't argue the point too much because hey we were actually aloud to have some fun as JW's for once. It really doesn't make sense though, why this celebration would be ok and the others are so BAD. Good point about the baby showers. I never thought of a baby shower in that sense. Very interesting!

  • Sweetp0985
    Sweetp0985
    I also find it hysterical about the Christmas dinner at the Brooklyn Headquarters. Can you imagine being there to see that!!!

    Actually, I do believe there are photos of this. I've seen it in one of the publications, not sure if official or "postate

    Leoleia this can be found in the Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Proclaimers book(large green book)...I don't remember exact page or anything.....They put this along with one of the things they used to celebrate but they received the "New Light".......

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