should i move out?

by crizlee 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Criz:

    In line with what everyone else is saying: Have your ducks in a row! I'm with Valis. My jobs saved me from spending too much time at home: I even missed most meeting nights. My parents weren't willing to finance my makeup/hair/clothes obsession (six kids), so they let me have a couple of jobs. I was kept mostly away from home and the Witness meeting schedule, which was too much for me. On top of taking care of my little brothers and sister (my Mother worked nights), I had a job, school, and family stuff. So.. maybe if you can, just get a part-time job; try to just do the yes ma'am, no ma'am thing until you have a certain future. Six months isn't that long to me, but it is different when you are your age.

    I moved out at 17, and in with the neighbors across the street. I had run away once before that, but my parents had the law hunt me down and bring me home. The second time, I didn't stay long... By the time I came back home, I was 18, and moved out a month later. I was able to support myself with my part-time jobs, and paying a nomimal rent to the neighbors, whose daughter was my age/grade. When I finally came back, my Mother just said "She's 18, she can do what she wants." I had tried to explain to my family that I just wasn't into the Witness scene, that I hadn't believed since I was 8 or 9 years old, and I wasn't going to change. I guess they finally got it. But they treated me totally different when I was legal. They began to charge me rent, etc. Which was okay, except I wasn't prepared to pay rent to sleep on the cement basement floor.... so I just flew the coop. Lived with another friend and paid her Mother the small rent of $40 a month for sleeping on a padded lawn chair in my friend's room... hey.. I had to take what I could. I started college, and then after a rocky start, got my own apartment.

    You could possibly take up this matter with your friends, in a subtle way, and see what *they* say. Most likely, if they wouldn't mind you living with them, and it's agreeable with your Mother and Father, their parents wouldn't mind either. It's pretty common that kids that are not getting along with their parents toward the end of their "maturity", go to live with other people's families, and it's not a big problem unless the person is an absolute mess-up and doesn't carry their share of the burden.

    It's do-able, but hard. It's always hard on people starting out, but that's what deciphers what you're made of. Remember that if you *can* make it easier on yourself, go that route. If you cannot just bear one more MINUTE of the Jehovah stuff, I would definitely seek out other living arrangements if you can, get a job, and wait for your college stuff to come through. If not, just grin and bear it, at least until your plans are laid in cement. Wait until the college has accepted you, and your scholarship, and you are on the road. Like they say... the best laid plans... can be messed up at the last minute. Call people, ask people, do whatever you can, to assure that you *are* going to get this scholarship and that you have that to fall back on.

    Hugs,

    Country Girl

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