She also told me that if I send in a DA letter that she would have to never talk to me or the girls again! They were so close to them when they lived here in PA, if they would go for more than two days without visiting them, she would have withdrawls!! I don't want to break the relationship that my girls have with their grandparents, but I know when I get to Florida, the 'guilt trip' will start sometime in the 10 days.
Regardless of what you decide to do, understand you will not be responsible for breaking up the relationship between your parents and your children - they will. If you don't want to go to FL (because of the stress, missing your DH, or for whatever reason) then politely decline and give good reason. If you want to DA yourself (which needs no explanation because this is a personal decision and really is no one else's business but your own), then do it - and if your mother decides to disown you and your children, then that is her choice. If you go to FL, I would stand my ground. How a person reacts to you is not in your control and is not your responsibility.
Good luck...