I am new to the forum. I've been reading mostly, but now I am compelled to post something. I guess I'll start with a little info on me.
My mom began studying with the witnesses when I was about 13, my dad didn't start studying til about 3 years later. He is now an elder in a Florida cong. I studied because I had to, being only 13 I had to go to every meeting especially when my dad started studying. Service every Saturday, like clockwork. My mom was a pioneer and urged me every day that I needed to talk at the door, which I hated. I was very shy and wasn't on the school. Most of my friends in the cong were all my age and ALL of them, except for me got baptised by the time they were all 16. And most of them led the standard double life. (Even now almost all of them have fallen away from the cong. )Good at the hall in front of elders & cong. but as soon as we all were together, we'd party and drink! When I was about 23 I met a 'wordly' man and got pregnant. We weren't even together 3 months, before we had to get married. I was still living home and moved out because I knew I was sinning with this guy. My mom told me that I wouldn't be allowed in her house if I continuted to live in sin with this man. So we married. We are still together after 12 years!! Although I did finally get baptised when I was 27. But since then I have felt the cong didn't support me or much less hang with me since I married the 'worldly man'. I wasn't allowed to help my elder father on the platform with a short presentation, because of who I married. That was utterly ridiculous in my opinion!! I haven't set foot in the KH for more than 2 years now. At first I was upset & depressed, especially when no one from the KH has contacted me in that time. No one! Not an elder or a sister or ones I thought were once friends.
That's a little about me. The reason I am compelled to post is that my parents now live in Florida and I in Pennsylvania. They visit when they can, but with my dad being an elder, his responsiblities in the KH come first, before his daughter and 2 granddaughters! Well, my mom just paid for 3 roundtrip tickets for me & my daughters to fly to Florida for a 10 day visit. (My husband has to work & can't get the time off) So it's just me and the girls. The thing is my mom & dad know that I haven't gone to the KH in more than 2 years. When they have come to visit here all would go well, they didn't hound me about going to the KH until about 3 days before they are ready to leave, then my mom starts in on her 'guilt tripping'!! (Now that I think back, for my dad being an elder, he was rather quiet while my mom starts in on me!) We then argue and then we don't talk to each other for about 2 months! (It's happened like that twice so far!) She still calls but only to speak to her granddaughters. She also told me that if I send in a DA letter that she would have to never talk to me or the girls again! They were so close to them when they lived here in PA, if they would go for more than two days without visiting them, she would have withdrawls!! I don't want to break the relationship that my girls have with their grandparents, but I know when I get to Florida, the 'guilt trip' will start sometime in the 10 days.
Any ideas on how I can head her off at the pass??? I thought about emailing her and letting her know I wouldn't be attending any meetings and if the girls want to go they can. Oh, my other predicament with the trip is, I've started smoking and I'm not planning on quitting, but I may have to for the 10 days at least!! But of course it seems stress makes me want to smoke!! MOM = STRESS !!
I will be checking out the board as I do most days :-) to see who read my long post and has some ideas!
It's really interesting reading everyone's stories. It seems everyone can relate to their upbringing in the KH in some way or another.
Thanks! Chrissee