Re:Christian Jokes-How True?

by ladonna 10 Replies latest social humour

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Chistian jokes
    Christians often have trouble telling jokes regarding Christian matters - I don't.

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    Comparison of Philosophical Theories in the Late 20th Century
    Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
    Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
    Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
    Anglican - They were our toys first.
    Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
    Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
    Atheism - There is no toy maker.
    Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
    Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
    Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
    Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you are in
    big trouble if we catch you selling yours.
    B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
    Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
    Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
    Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
    Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
    Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
    Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
    7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
    Southern Baptist - If your toy is a Disney product, you have a one-way
    ticket to Hell.
    Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
    Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
    Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
    Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
    Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
    Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's
    just play with them.
    Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of
    difference.
    Unitarian Universalism - We still haven't decided if the toys exist.
    Chistian jokes
    Christians often have trouble telling jokes regarding Christian matters - I don't.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Comparison of Philosophical Theories in the Late 20th Century
    Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
    Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
    Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
    Anglican - They were our toys first.
    Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
    Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
    Atheism - There is no toy maker.
    Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
    Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
    Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
    Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you are in
    big trouble if we catch you selling yours.
    B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
    Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
    Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
    Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
    Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
    Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
    Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
    7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
    Southern Baptist - If your toy is a Disney product, you have a one-way
    ticket to Hell.
    Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
    Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
    Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
    Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
    Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
    Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's
    just play with them.
    Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of
    difference.
    Unitarian Universalism - We still haven't decided if the toys exist.
    Chistian jokes
    Christians often have trouble telling jokes regarding Christian matters - I don't.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Comparison of Philosophical Theories in the Late 20th Century
    Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
    Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
    Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
    Anglican - They were our toys first.
    Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
    Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
    Atheism - There is no toy maker.
    Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
    Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
    Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
    Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you are in
    big trouble if we catch you selling yours.
    B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
    Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
    Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
    Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
    Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
    Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
    Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
    7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
    Southern Baptist - If your toy is a Disney product, you have a one-way
    ticket to Hell.
    Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
    Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
    Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
    Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
    Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
    Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's
    just play with them.
    Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of
    difference.
    Unitarian Universalism - We still haven't decided if the toys exist.

    I pasted this from a web page and couldn't resist sharing!!!
    Ana

  • larc
    larc

    Ana,

    I love that.

    Some people here,

    JanH: First we must define what a toy is.

    Norm: I will do a scan on the word toy.

    Larc: I am happy with my toy.

    You Know: You are not allowed to have toys.

    Farkel: You are a dummy if you need toys.

    Kent: You live in the United States, if you think toys are important.

    Mommy: I love my toys and I hug them every day.

    Mommy Dark: If you don't like my toys, then the hell with you.

    Tina: I agree with Mommie Dark about toys.

    Emmyrose: All my toys are black, not colored and don't you ever forget it.

    RHW: I love my horsies. I don't need toys.

    Teejay: I drive a truck and defend Emy. I don't have time for toys.

    You Know and Friday: All toys will be destroyed at Armageddon.

    Larsguy: All toys were predicted by Bible Prophecy.

    Englishman: Time at the pub is better than having toys.

    Logical: May I please have a toy?

    Fred Hall: Toys are not scriptural.

    I hope you find this funny, otherwise I am in deep doo doo.

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Larc,

    Teeheee....I LOVE IT!!!!!!

    Now we may both be in wooohooo

    Ana

    ps...I like toys but I keep them to myself...selfish!!!

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Can't we all get along and share our toys?

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Hiya Pris...

    Yes...I'll share my toys with you!!!

    Ana

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Speaking of toys, when are they going to bring out a Ken doll with more realistic anatomy??

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Prisca,

    Put a "T" to the end of that toy and maybe you might be lucky.

    Ana

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Prisca,

    for the same reason that Jelly babies are always girls.

    Englishman

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

  • Kent
    Kent

    Larc - ROTFL

    This was great!

    Now I can go on holidays to morrow an be a happy man for 14 days or so - looking at toys :)

    Yakki Da

    Kent

    "The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler is that God is more proficient at genocide."

    Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
    http://watchtower.observer.org

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Hey Englishman,

    Jellie babies are always female?????

    Not after I get through squishing them...

    And Kent....did you miss my reference to YOU being Prisca's answer to a real Ken doll???

    Ana....

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