Young Pioneer Sister desperate for assistance..any advice?

Gill

I have a son aged 19. He's a bit of a handsome devil at the best of times and the young ladies have always been ... how can I put it nicely.... fond of him. But having said that he's always very friendly with everyone.

We used to go to a congregation a few miles from where we live now when he was a tiny child and he was friendly with the kids there. He also went to college with a young girl whose father is an elder at this congregation. Anyway she's aware that we've 'faded' away from the JW's but she still texts and emails my son most days and vice versa.

She belongs to a seriously fanatical JW family, all pioneers, elders, MS's, no spiritual rif raf allowed and she says she has been pressured into pioneering and does not want to be a JW. She is baptised but has emailed to say that her family have gone 'crazy' at her because she's put christmas decorations up in her room. Not surprising, huh!

I am sure that to this young girl it would be a disaster to be disfellowshipped and shunned by her family so I have told my son not to encourage her one way or another to drop the JW's but I do feel very strongly sorry for her.

Any suggestions people?

Advice would be much appreciated!

candidlynuts

the advice you gave him is good sound advice.

she has to live with the consequences of her decisions whatever they might be. all he can do is be a supportive friend .

Swan

I have always said to myself, "It's not my job to preach any more!"

I don't go out searching for JWs to tell them the truth about their "Truth." However, if someone is seeking a way out, I'll do what I can to help them. I will also make sure that they know full well what they are letting themselves in for.

How old is this young girl? It isn't clear, but that also is a factor. If she's about your son's age (you said she was in college), about 18 or 19, she's old enough to decide for herself, which she apparently has. Once they decide to break free, I don't have any qualms about providing them with every resource at my disposal to help them achieve that goal.

Tammy

Gill

Thanks Candidlynuts, Swan,

The young girl is the same age as my son.

I know the family VERY well in a very negative sense and as I have said, I do feel very sorry for her. I'm slightly torn as to whether to let my son give her any info on witnesses that might be considered apostate as I don't want her to have more problems. Sounds as if she's having enough already.

RunningMan

I wouldn't hesitate to give out information. Information has a tendency to leak out all by itself. If she is open minded, she will eventually find out whatever she is seeking. Better to happen sooner than later. Right now, this information can split her from her parents. If she coasts for a decade, then finds out the real truth later, it can split her from her husband and children.

I would never feel guilty about giving out information. After all, you don't invent the truth, you just speak it.

SixofNine

LOL, well look at the picture here. If this girl is strong-willed enough to have put Chrimas' decorations up in her room, and let her family get a look at them, and talks willingly to your son about not wanting to be a JW, then she IS going to be df'd; it's only a matter of when.

It would be good to talk to her to show her ALL the reasons not to be a JW. Personal freedom is a great reason, but unfortunately, sometimes when people leave for that reason, when life beats them up a bit, they run right back to the org. It is helpful to reinforce the intellectual reasons not to be a Jehovah's Witness.

missy04

I would just give her some helpful information, "apostate" material or not, and let her choose whatever she wants to do. She could choose to listen to the information or not, but if she wonders whether she is in the truth or not, she deserves to know the truth about the "truth."

~Sarah

anglise

Hi Gill

I'd give gentle information if she asks. I would also to VERY careful about your son and how involved he is with her. Her family will put enormous pressure on her and he could be left feeling very used and hurt.

Be there for both of them.

Anglise

mkr32208

The best advice is for her to move out. I moved out at 18, I moved 1000 miles from my parents it gave me a great sense of where I was and where I wanted to be...

Also if she chooses to not remain a dubber if she's 1000+ miles from home it's a lot easier to fade away and not cause as much friction!

lisaBObeesa

Every situation is different, but.......

......... when I was 18 I sure did know I wanted out. I consider the person who helped me realize I could move out of my parent's house and start my life on the right foot, an angel sent from god! She really helped me out. (Thanks, Annie!)

By then, it was already over for me and the JWs. I just didn't know how to get out on my own and survive. Plus, my parents were making it almost impossible because they kept charging me for everything so I could never save the money to get out. My friend gave me encouragement, helped me out and gave me a place to stay for a couple of months so I could get on my feet. And then I was on my own.

It was difficult, no doubt about it. But I would never trade those first hard years on my own for a few more years in my parent's home being a fake JW.

Young Pioneer Sister desperate for assistance..any advice?

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