Is It More Important to You to "Love" or Be "Loved"?

by pettygrudger 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Although both are important parts of human existence, they are not mutually inclusive. Is it more important to you to feel "love" for others or to know you're "loved" BY others? I think the answer to that question sometimes dictates our actions as human beings.

  • Badger
    Badger

    The latter is far, far more difficult than the former, I've found.

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    Ik think you must love somebody - before you receive love.

    Being loved is more important for me.

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool
    Is it more important to you to feel "love" for others or to know you're "loved" BY others?

    Any time I've "known" that I was loved by others I eventually learned that I was delusional. That's not something I look for anymore, because it's something I distrust. It's more important for me to feel love for others because I know it is real.

    When dealing with other people I have learned to expect the worst. I am rarely disappointed.

    Walter

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    Both ... and if not love at least respect (it's a kind of love) in its true sens (don't hurt me or let me know what it is all about so that I can understand at least) if nothing, well ... By by the feeling that doesn't help, cause love have its accountancy (you'd better get a bit back of what you give) ... cause there is a human pointbreak anyway.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Both is nice but the only one that you have a modicum of control over is your own love.

    I tend to hope for the best, whilst aware of the worst of human nature. Hence I'm rarely disappointed.

    Is there anything nicer than a genuine hug from a loved one?

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    When you are loved, it must be assumed that you did something to be loved FOR. To me, both is important. I love to be loved and I love to love, so I strive to do both.

    Country

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    That's a tough question. I love to love... and I love to be loved. All I can say for sure is that when I do love it is with a great intensity and those who love me tend to return the love with the same intensity.

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier

    Good but tuff question. To me Love is a verb, an action word, and requires action.

    I've had to learn the hard way that there are some people I should not have wasted my time loving. They were incapable (at the time) of receiving and respecting my love, so were unable to love me.

    However, everyone deserves love. Respect and appreciation is a form of love. Doing something nice for someone, anyone, especially those little things that no one ever knows about, is love. Smile. It sends love out. Because I love, I receive love. It's one of those paradox's (pair-o-docks, or is it par au deux?): You can't receive it if you don't give it away.

    Hugs, Love, and Peace

    Brenda

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger
    Any time I've "known" that I was loved by others I eventually learned that I was delusional.

    (Walter)

    It's more important for me to feel love for others because I know it is real.

    That is EXACTLY how I feel about it!!!! In fact, I was just talking to a friend the other day about this, which is why the thread. I seemed to be the stepping stone for a few ex-jws (not on the boards - so no one here), a way for them to enter the *world* and have someone to call *friend* until something better came along. Although I felt love for these individuals, it obviously wasn't reciprocated, at least long term. In fact in a couple of cases, it brought me some pain at how quickly I was dropped like a hot potato when bigger & better groups came along. And, I've lost a couple of friends (not exclusively applicable to ex-JW's either) because I did what I considered the *right* thing by our friendship, not necessarily the easy thing. It's amazing how quickly other's love can *cool* when they don't have a consumate "yes man" or back patter.

    And the funny thing is, that although I ocassionally have felt some pain from no longer being important to those individuals, I'm okay with it. I know that my feelings were true, they were real. They still are.

    With my JW family - it's more important to me to know that I love them - not that they love me. They can shun all they want - that's their problem.

    so, for me - it's more important that I keep MY humanity, my ability to love others, than it is to be loved I guess. Although being loved is REALLY REALLY nice.

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