Starting the fade, and getting the "calls".

by kwintestal 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • kwintestal

    So Mrs. Kwin, like myself, has started the fade. She's getting visits or calls 2 to 3 times a week from JW's in the hall. What do you do when you get these visits? What do you say when they call?


  • kwintestal

    BTW, they're always pioneer sisters, never elders (except once but he came with his wife, a pioneer)however I have no doubt that the elders have put the sisters up to it.


  • Badger

    I transferred to another hall, and never went. I got one call from an elder and that was it.

  • Billygoat

    Personally, as hard as it might be, I'd not even respond. Once people call several times and don't get a response, they taper off. You'll see. Just lay below the radar and it'll slow down.

  • czarofmischief

    I don't know - IMHO the fade seems harder than just DA'ing or getting DF'ed. But even if that happens you still get a call once a year, or at least I do every September or so; and I'm a raving aposta-looney! Of course, I don't exactly avoid confrontation - if that's what the fade is about then maybe it is the best way to go. But when I get the "call" I usually explain fairly succinctly that I am not interested in "returning" and that I have discovered many blatant hypocrisies and lies about the WT and its history and its activities. they leave me alone. But once a year or so I generally run into somebody that is trying to win me back over one way or another. Probably something I will have to bear for the rest of my life.


  • blondie

    Phone calls: use caller ID, don't want to answer, let it go through to message. Unknown number, for sure let that go through.


    HBH--or just don't answer the door if you aren't expecting anyone. I hate people who don't call and just drop by.

    If you feel you must answer, put on a robe, mess up your hair, rub on some vaporub, grab and kleenex. Make them stand out on the stoop and just hack away for about 10 seconds and say it's not a good time. You will let them know when it is. Never invite them in unless you are ready for what follows. You are the only one who knows what that might be since you know them.

    Be prepared for elders and other "concerned" ones to possibly stake out your place to catch you doing something wrong.


  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    In our experience, the actual lack of true love has displayed itself. We have been 'shunned' from the outset of our 'fade out'. Like some others mentioned it all depends on the attitude at your hall.

    In many congs the elders use the other bro's and sis's to do the dirty work for them. They will get in more easily perhaps - and considering that the true mission is not to 'restore' but to 'condemn and remove' that is all they need. It will not be long for them to find something to report - and the next call is to a Judicial Meeting. Most JM's last a few minutes and then the kangaroo court will DF without any true defense. Repentance won't work since it takes time to display -and u can't do that in a few minutes before minds already made up - in the JW mind there is no 'repentance' for 'apostasy' - you have violated the inner sanctum - your purity is spoiled -and your eyes are opened - the only course is to get you out before others can talk to you and see what was bothering you - this is the attitude even if u have no intention of ever returning.

    So the best advise is to avoid them - as blondie said.

    If u see them out in public u may have more control as to the direction of the conversation- because you could have in mind what you will say -and they will be less prepared to try and sabotage you - and your belongings and lifestyle is not on display.


  • candidlynuts

    i faded and wasnt even missed.. a call or a visit or an expression of kindness and i'd have never left. never searched on the internet and would have been loyal till death in my ignorance..

    you must have gotten more hours in per month than i did lol

  • LittleToe

    Though I used to make the calls when the yearly "arrangement" came in, I've never received one.
    I must be too contagious - it's the Vaporub, isn't it? Tell me it's the Vaporub!

  • Emma

    I'm with those who say avoid or ignore them. If you don't have caller ID, it's worth the small expense. Don't answer the door.

    I began fading while I was sick. I was a good call to keep their time going. Even though I was ill, I'd make them tea and serve cookies. Finally, I just stopped answering the door, even if they knew I was in the house.


Share this