I finally said enough is enough (shunning)

by Fleur 23 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Fleur

  Wow thanks everybody...I don't feel particularly graceful in my handling it...I just felt that the lecture I got was the last straw. The thing that really got to me was that the person giving it had the scariest, totally blank expression on their face...so totally Stepford...I knew she fully believed every word she was saying.

  I have felt such peace since deciding that I wasn't going to go. My mom blames this person for me not going (she wanted me to hear the talk, LOL which I'm sure I could have recited myself, all JW funeral talks are the same) but I told her it was just the final thing that made the decision for me; and it's a larger decision than just one event, it's a turning point. There is no going back from this.

  Maybe this is what they call acceptance? I don't know.

  I do know one thing; none of these people have any idea how much that little old woman meant to me and how much I'm going to miss her...and that has nothing at all to do with the fact that I didn't subject myself to their abuse last night.

  She never treated me that way; I know in my heart she wouldn't have wanted me to.

  Thanks so much everyone, each post here means a lot to me. I told my husband...I can't ever further the interests of any organization that is set up to allow abuse of women and children (and men for that matter) as status quo. Not me.

  love you all,

  essie

  p.s. Czar...I smiled, thinking of your little happy jig for me. I could smooch your face for that, thank you sweetie :)
• 

  crinklestein

  Is anyone else here creeped out by her relative saying "Just do it. Just come back," as if to say, "Don't think about it. Just do it." That is very scary thinking. To expect someone to come back to an organization just so you can have these idiots back in their lives. If they are not willing to include you in their lives now then any inclussion afterward would be so obviously fake. Good job in breaking free and making your stand.
• 

  iiz2cool

  At the end, she said that she couldn't speak to me when she saw me at my grandmother's memorial if I came to the family dinner (like I planned to go, they're all JW's! I wasn't invited!) and then indicated that she didn't want to shun me but said it was "the direction of the organization."

  This is what really gets under my skin - the selective shunning. If she REALLY believed in the shunning policy, this conversation would never have happened. She won't shun you right now, but she will later. Why? Because other JWs are present? It's all for show.

  If she wants to obey the direction of the organization, she should do it at all times, not only when other cult members are present. Her professed faith in her organization is a lie.

  Good for you for getting out of such an abusive relationship!

  Is anyone else here creeped out by her relative saying "Just do it. Just come back," as if to say, "Don't think about it. Just do it."

  Yes, that creeps me out too. It's been used on me many times. I finally put a stop to it by giving an incredibly rude response. I didn't like doing it, but sometimes they have to learn they can't just continually spew shit without getting some back once in a while.

  Walter
• 

  Preston

  "Your child deserves to have a future."

  "Remember I can't talk to you if I see you later."

  ??.It's time now, come back to the flock and the angels will rejoice over you, you little lost sheep."

  Wha...mm...excuse me...I was just so busy gagging my brains out over my toilet, I just coudn't decide which one of these was the most vomit-inducing. It is a cold-hearted shame that anyone could treat you like this. "Excuse me, Missus Jay-Dub guilt tripper, why dont you just secure my feet and wrists and sacrifice me to the God of Go F-Yourself"

  My husband said the only word that fit the way that I have been treated is "inhumane."

  Bravo Husband!

  Know what I did instead of going to be shunned? I said to my husband, "Lets go and buy a beautiful christmas present for your grandmother."

  Bravo You, and if she bothers calling you asking why you didn't show up just say either:

  A.) "I decided to have a fabulous time with someone who treats me better than someone in own JW family"

  or

  B.) "Oh, I'm sorry, maybe you were so busy trying to not talk to me you barely even noticed..."

  B.) is more bitchier IMHO. I love it!!!!