with you!! Everyone that is in the process of leaving dreads the thought of having the elders approach them, call them, etc. The fact is----just because THEY say they want to meet with you or just because 2 elders stop by to visit you----you DON'T have to deal with them at all. Simply tell them you won't meet with them, you won't talk to them. They can't force you to listen to them or engage in dialogue with them. Don't be afraid of the elders. They're only "men".
You DON'T Have To Listen To The Elders If They Say They Want To Meet ....
Yup. This is true.
Or... if they insist - tell them you will - and you will be bringing along a lawyer to sit in on the discussion.
(Hint: They'll get real nervous and say, "It's okay... it wasn't really _that_ important.")
Often small minded and mean men, at that. They leave their own conscience at the door, and insert the WT - been there and done that, myself
I wouldn't go near a Judicial Committee with a ten foot barge pole. Better to retain one's dignity and empower self by not giving them the time of day. They have no more authority over you than you give them. It's just sad that family will often give them said authority, above the normal draw of "natural affection" (2Tim.3:3).
Min - you're on a roll... the old magic is back!!!
Sometimes,If you don't meet with them,they can disfellowship you in absentia.
They will sometimes take refusal to meet with them as disassociation. Thats what is happened to Simon, he then appealed and met with then for 3 hours and they upheld the decission that he had disassoicated himself on the grounds of refusing to meet with them work that one out
They are going to do whatever they WANT to do. Normally they already know what they're "looking for". If you don't give it to them, they'll just make it up and do it to you anyway. I've seen that happen!
Raises hand. .
Disfellowshipped by "registered letter".. We had previously refused to meet.
Angharad, those elders violated policy explicitly stated in the elder's manual Pay Attention to the Flock. It's probably a bit late to do anything about it, though.
When elders wanted to meet with me nine years ago, after finding out that I had hooked up with my now-wife, I told them I wouldn't meet with them. Nothing they could do about it. The next day I decided to ask one of them to meet with me so that I could explain to him what had occurred with my defunct marriage to a thoroughly braindead JW. I called one elder late in the evening, but he refused to meet with me. What a coward! It's obvious that these guys are not interested in other people, but only in doing the bidding of their cult leaders in Brooklyn.
And in many instances if you have been inactive for quite a while, it will make your situation worse if you do meet with them.
Meeting with them is recognising them as an authority. If you recognise them as an authority, even if only in their eyes, and you have, in their opinion, done something wrong, then according to them they have athority to take action upon you.
Kwin, you're sooo right! We must not recognize their "authority" because it doesn't exist! The secret to elders is that they are empowered by their own belief that they are in fact---above every one else. Take that away from them and they really don't know what to do.....And of course, yes, they can make up rules as they go along. The difference is YOU don't have to abide by them!