Another reason to hate the WTS.

CountryGuy

You know what I hate most about the WTS? That no matter how much you think you've put it all behind you... it still comes up and smacks you over the head every now and then.

Saturday night, I visited my local bookstore/coffee shop. As I walked into the coffee shop, I saw the face of one of the girls I grew up with. Our congregation didn't have a lot of young people, so we were all somewhat close. I think she saw me at the same time as I saw her. She knew the drill. I knew the drill. She glanced back down. And I kept walking on into the store without stopping to get my usual sugar-free mocha. (The diabetes situation is very good these days, thanks.)

Though I'm not DF'd or DA'd, I've been shunned several times since coming home. (Apparently the entire circuit has heard the rumor that I'm gay. I guess technically it isn't a rumor if it's true.) But, this one hurt, a lot more than I thought it would/should have. It was the first direct, face to face shunning by someone in my circle of friends. I don't know if I read more into it, but I seemed to find pain in her eyes. Maybe I was just finding a mirror of the pain she must have seen in mine. Who knows?

Anyway, I'm over it now. I just have another reason on my long list of things to hate about the WTS. Not only for me, because I had to readdress everything I've worked so hard to over come over the past year and a half. But also for the thousands of rank and file JWs who could care less if you're still in, but have to shun you because they've been told to.

CountryGuy

MungoBaobab

Wow, that's gotta suck, CountryGuy. I'm still in and I feel like I get shunned! But you know what? I'd rather have it that way, and so do you.

Ask yourself, what are Witnesses worldwide known for? Preaching. Unsolicited, unabashed, unending preaching. What if they were taught to "bring lost shep back into the fold" at every opportunity? "Come back to Jehovah, please, CountryGuy." "You missed such a good talk last Sunday, CountryGuy." "Repent of your sinful ways, CountryGuy." Get the drift?

You HAVE moved beyond all that. Old "friends," well, they're a reminder of something you've left behind, and you can do without that.

I hope this helps.

xochsi

Countryguy, seeing the old "friend" and having them treat you like you have the black death obviously ripped a scab off a fresh wound. I am sorry that you had that sad and loveless experience. I wish I could tell you the best way to move on, but it's different for everyone.

Go back and get that sugar-free mocha, have a good cry and have someone you love and trust just hold you tightly.

xochsi

Happy Guy :)

When I hear stories like yours CG, I feel sorry for them. Sorry that they can't accept you for who you are, sorry that they have to live like that where they reject people. The world is moving forward and their social behavior is regressive. They are the ones who are stricken with bigotry and cursed to live their lives like that my freind not you. Somehow knowing doesn't stop the pain of their bigotry unfortunately

Country Girl

Dearheart Country Guy:

I am sure it must have been pain: if she knows you like the great friend I know you to be, she would surely miss you! It's painfully clear that she is braindead due to the WTBS, but that there must be a spark of confusion in there caused by cognitive dissonance. She's the one missing out. You just hold your head high and live your life well: that's the best form of revenge. You should have gotten your sugar-free mocha!!

Many hugs,

Country Girl

googlemagoogle

i just want to add that it's probably not only the WTS, but a homophobe society in general. some time ago i told my mom that homosexuals are perfectly normal. she almost started crying of anger and asked me if i was gay. i answered no, but what would you do if i were? she said, homosexuality aint natural, because it is forbidden by jehovah and he wouldn't kill people in big A for doing something natural. i answered that the canaanites didn't have an excuse for being canaanite either and the bible-god genocided em. the conversation stopped after that... well...

but however, the wts aint the only group like that. conservative christianity and islam does the same.

pudd

I don't know if I read more into it, but I seemed to find pain in her eyes.

Before I left I found shunning one of the most painful things I ever had to do. There was a young girl who got pregnant and was df?ed. She carried on going to the meetings throughout her pregnancy. When the baby was born (just a few weeks after mine as it happens) there were complications and her little boy almost died. Still she came to the hall. One day she came while her baby was in hospital fighting for his life. I had to go out the back with my newborn and she was at the back of the hall. As I passed her I caught her eye, I smiled but what I wanted to do was put my arms around her and cry with her. I went in the mother and baby room with my own son and just broke my heart. (The baby survived btw)

The practice of shunning is inhumane and yet I went along with it because I thought it was what Jehovah wanted. I know there are a lot of self-righteous individuals in the congregation but there are just as many genuine people who are so misled. It is heart breaking.

Pudd

Gill

Sorry to hear your awful experiences with shunning.

I'm always glad that, though it worried me in case I got caught, I always made a point of making eye contact with a DF person and smiling. One lovely lady had her son in the same class as my sons. We always nodded and smiled even after he DF ing. Then one day she came to speak to me and told me how her house had been burgled, the front door kicked in and her sons quilt cover used as a swag bag to put her possessions in. I couldn't ignore her an |'m still glad that I didn't and was sympathetic with her. I was told off by an elder's wife who told me I should know better but even she didn't have the heart to shop me in. Good on her!

Shunning was always my fear. It put me six months in counselling and 1 year with a psychiatrist. Now I'm COOL and don't give a shit to be honest.

I dare 'em to shun me. Bring it on you swines!!!

He, he!

dorothy

Another fine example of the "real friends" you can make at the Kingdom Hall. Hugs to you, honey. Her loss.

Panda

Shunning is hurtful to everyone. Example: I had friends whos 2 sons were DF'd. I never shunned then, always spoke to them when I saw them. Well when I left my friends would not speak to me. After a few years my friend opened the lined to communicate and her first question to me "I know you probably hate me for shunning you" I told her heck no I've never stopped loving and caring about her family. So we are goods buddies no. My point: sometimes you are the only person old friends are able to talk to about their doubts.

Another reason to hate the WTS.

Share this