I just learned that an ex-cowoker of mine became engaged to her abusive boyfriend. She is probably one of the brightest, prettiest people I have ever known--but she doesn't believe that because her boyfriend would rather have her believe she is dumb, ugly and nothing at all without him.
I am so sad for this girl.
She was in college last year and he made her give it up. He made her lose her job (the job where I work) because he would call so often and threaten other co-workers on the phone if he couldn't speak to her. He's controlling, demanding, abusive and to boot unfaithful. He puts her down in front of his family. He doesn't stick up for her when his family insults her and/or mistreats her. Quite contrary, he blames her for his and his family's behavior. While she was working with me, she spent most of her day on the phone with him arguing and crying. It was so disruptive of our work day. If she wasn't home "on time" there was a beating. He would also lock her up in the house when he went out in the evenings with his friends. This girl weighs about 95 lbs. The bruises and welts on her body were heartbreaking to see, even though she tried her hardest to cover them up.
I only told her that I wished her the best and if there was anything at all I could do for her to let me know. Of course she knows that I don't approve of this at all, but what can I do? So many times I have spoken with her, called her on the phone at her house while that sicko was yelling and throwing things at her. But she refuses to call police or to leave him. I even tried phoning her mother once to let her in on what's happening, but she begged me not to do that. I know she is petrified of him, and with good reason. I just don't know what to do, what magic words to say to make her wake up before it's too late. I have the awful feeling that I'll be reading her obituary in the newspaper soon.....
It's frustrating to the extreme. I can't even look at this guy without feeling my blood start to boil. Heaven help me, but I feel like filleting him with a rusty machete!!