I like the fact that the elders were "false comforters" to you and you felt like Job. That's one way to get to grips with this not being the true organization.
Did You Believe Either You Were Being "Blessed" or Being "Disciplined"?
I've never thought of it that way! Thanks Minimus!
*goes away feeling good about self*
I never really bought that I was "blessed" if something went well (except "spiritual" stuff, like talks or field service), or "tested" if it didn't, but I did have one really whacked idea that I totally bought. A circuit overseer mentioned once that when Gideon was faced with a big decision, he made a little test and asked Jehovah to play along. And he did! (Wet fleece/dry ground, then dry fleece/wet ground)
The CO called this the "Gideon test" and said it would be appropriate for us to set up tests like this to ask for Jehovah's direction on matters that impacted our worship of him. So I used it to decide which job offer to accept, whether to buy a particular car, big decisions. I never had the "faith" to leave a sweater outside overnight and ask Jehovah to keep it dry or wet it or make it dance or anything. But I did say things like, "Please make whichever job offer would be the best call me first." And whoever called first, that was the job I would take, since Jehovah "told" me to.
Since I only used it on big things, I only used it a few times. Amazing that things have gone as well as they did. All things considered, though they were big decisions, they were generally decisions between two or more good things anyway. So no matter how wet the fleece got, the decision would still look good in the end.
Sheesh, what a dupe. I wonder why it never occurred to me to actually set something outside and ask Jehovah to make it wet. I should have asked the CO...