I just came across this post on another discussion board; thought I'd share this guy's pov:
I will be 39 tomorrow. Not that I care all that much.
Today I came home from work and was on a conference call during the drive home and as I walked into the house (had em on mute). My 3 1/2 yr old rushed to meet me in the kitchen "happy birthday daddy!" there were a few presents and a cake.
Wife explained they had went shopping for gifts and the daughter could not wait until tomorrow to help me open them. Someone was bringing up a project I was working on at work, and I knew they would want to hear from me. I closed the cell phone, gave her a hug, and we sat down to open the gifts.
I messaged my boss later (a great guy) and he said the meeting was still on, go have a shot and some cake. Later on the wife and I watched web cam videos of my daughter from times gone by.
We met in CA 6 years ago. Live in my mom's basement, then the garage, then an apt in So. Ohio, then rented a house further south, and a few months ago bought our first house ever next door to my folks.
I don't care I am turning 39, I have a wonderful life. I see so much on tv, stern, elsewhere about beautiful women, having latest fashions, being the hottest, and teen (and younger) girls trying to be the next sex object. I looked at those webcams, and then later played dolls with my daughter (which we do everyday). None of them have clothes, she hates them having clothes on for some reason. I looked at her with a love deeper than one can fathom.
Looks? Money? Fashion? All she cared about was playing with toys with her dad. We watch old sci-fi movies (she loves war of the worlds and for a month or so watched it every night to fall asleep to) like earth versus the flying saucers, sponge bob, and more. We watched wizard of oz and she played with her dog like it was toto and sang somewhere over the rainbow.
She is a beautiful little red headed girl, looks like a porcelain doll. People stop us in the store to touch her hair and talk about her. Then I see things which make me wince...
Young girls on covers of magazines looking sexy, barely dressed. No one looking at those photos probably cares about the person inside, what they think, how they feel. They care about the package and what is being sold. Hell, being a good red blooded american male myself have looked at such pics and saw only the visual myself at times.
I understand it all somewhat, but that does not mean I think it is the right thing morally, or the best thing (in relation to long term results and effects). Sex sells, always has and always will. What I see today, versus many years ago, is how much it is flaunted and pushed. Women of beauty we see daily, in movies, videos, magazine covers. Looks have become the main pushing factor, and not the person inside. No one cares about the avg looking woman and what she thinks or says, they are not covered because they don't look 'hot'.
Female astronauts, scientists, and so forth don't grace the cover of such magazines. Is it that no one cares, or is that all we get to see? My wife spent her 20's as a beautiful woman - had drs, lawyers, welathy men all chasing her, using her as a trophy to hang out with. She met me, and I cared about her. Now in her early 30's she has gained weight after the baby (not alot), does not wear the makeup all the time, and cares more about family and cooking than impressing the men. They don't seem to give her the time of day now because she is not a walking advertisement for sex. They wanted her to be selling something, packaged and ready to buy. Now she is the woman she always wanted to be, and happy as can be. We both cried tonight watching those home videos and remembering how far we have come.
This weekend we are having a halloween party for the kids in the neighborhood, and no one is worried about being 'hot' or trendy. Folks just want to show up and be themselves with their kids.
I hope my daughter grows up in a world where people value her for who she is as a woman. Whether she works in a factory or as a Dr. I hope they see the same loving girl I see, that they want to see her smile like I do each day. The more I see on TV, movies, and so forth the more I hope she learns well that such things are not what is important in life. Happiness is family, love, and something you find in yourself and your own desires.
My life? My family, old computers, programming, work which I love, and just simple day to day living. I am content. If I am on my death bed at 80 and she has not suffered terrible illnesses, abusive lovers, and so forth I will die a happy man. If she sits beside me as I slip away and I know that she had a good life then I can die without care or worry. If those that I know say of me, 'he was a good man and kind to others' then I can go to my life in the beyond feeling like I had won in this life. Money, fame, power? Sure, they would nice in that I could help others - but those things mean nothing without the love of someone like my daughter and my wife.
So I turn 39. One year closer to death some might say. I see it as one more year I can file in my mind as happy times with the ones I loved. Today was a good day. The future could be better or worse - but today I saw my baby smile and tell me she loved me, and saw her eyes light up as we opened some gifts. Today I lived the last day of my 38th year, and today I realized how happy I am to look forward to another year with those I loved.