I was flipping thru the channels a few minutes ago and the Oprah show was on with an interview with Tatum O'Neal . I havent watched all of the show but from what I can get from it so far,,,,,,Tatum has a bad relationship with her father , she has written a book about it all. She and Oprah were talking about what could make her have peace with her Father and so on .
Oprah said something interesting that I find to be very significant in regards to the recovery process that we as ex Jehovah's Witnesses are going thru... and that is Acknowledgement and Validation.
I know that many of us have the JW horror stories of wrongs done to us,,,,,,from lives lost because of that religion, our own misery at the hands of those who were supposed to shepherd us with love, to abuse of every kind. Most of us , I would say agree that the WT will NOT acknowledge their part in all of these wrongs, instead many times we were blamed instead of the guilty ones.
On a personal note, I have walked away from the JW's two years ago......but still, I feel the need to tell my side of the story, to be heard, to tell the real truth . I am living my life very well, and I am pretty much at peace and have great happiness. But.........it does bother me that there are these people who I loved,( JW's) who I thought loved me , maybe some still do, even thou they can not tell me. I can live with that.......but I dont like living with the fact that they have been told so many lies about me and my family... twisted lies told by even my own father, because telling things the way he does, covers over some serious wrongs , regarding me, from way long ago. In these things that are hurtful to me , are not necessarliy JW related , but are mingled together .
I guess that no matter how far I have come in my recovery since leaving ,, I still have those very human emotions dealing with wanting someone to know the real truth of my story. I know I will probably never be able to reach those who will not hear my side of the story , but it does feel so good when I find someone who listens to what happened and why I left the JW's.
If I can get no validation from the JW's , my Father, I can tell you that at least I get it from the new friends ( in real life and here )I have made that are not JW's. I think that has kept my sanity , it has kept me from falling back into the old ways of thinking , blaming myself for everything, belieivng that everything was my fault, and giving in and not standing up for myself.
Do you feel you NEED Acknowledgement and Validation , do you feel it is important to tell your side of things? Or do you just put the past behind you , not feeling the need to tell anyone of the things you went thru?