Why do they shun only the DF/DA?

by ozziepost 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • ozziepost

    G'day all,

    I've been musing to myself - just wondering about the position of those who get DF or who DA - they are given the shunning treatment whenever they come across those good old christian dubs.

    But those ex-dubs who simply fadeaway can come and go. Semingly they are ignored.

    Both "types" (classes?????) are non-active dubs, yet the treatment is reserved for just some.

    Seems strange.

    Or is it just me in upside down land?

    Like I said, just musing to myself.


  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Not always Ozzie. Nina and I were never DF/DA and most of the people in our old congregations shun us to this day. I remember once when Nina was still very active (I had left a couple of years earlier) and a couple of pioneers refused to work with her when she showed up to do street witnessing. It was a regular occurrence for the Witnesses in our congregation to refuse to work with her out in service at all. Not in an overt way mind you, but in a passive/aggresive fashion.

    "Oh I'm sorry I'm already paired up." "We've got a study to go on this morning." Every excuse under the sun, week after week until she finally gave up and changed congregations. It would be another 10 years before she left the organization.

  • blondie

    DF/DA'd people are officially sanctioned through "judicial" proceedings within the WTS. Their names are announced from the platform.

    In "marking" the name of the individual(s) is not announced. Supposedly only the behavior (not being inactive though) is being highlighted. If you see a person doing that then you avoid them.

    As to being inactive and fading, it depends on the area and the person.

    I have been a fader for about 3 years and everyone talks to us when they meet us. Some even tell us the juicy gossip going on. No one mentions going to the meetings. Of course, we have not talked to any elders and will not answer the door or return their phone calls.

    As my hubbie said recently, some JWs are very judgmental and love an opportunity to be cruel to those "beneath" them.


  • ozziepost

    It's OK guys, I'm aware of the technicalities and yes i know how things work out in practice but.........the Society's 'official' line reserves the shunning to just those who they've decided are to be subjects of the judicial process.

    Not that I'm complaining. I personally feel that it doesn't matter one way or the other, just so long as you're away from them, but I'm just musing about yet another Borg inconsistency.

  • blondie

    It only matters how God views you.

    As I have told many an elder, only God has the power of life and death.(Some elders think they do; or wish they did.) I am confident in God's love and forgiveness.


  • glitter

    My mum's been shunned by most JWs in our area since 1991 - order of events:

    1. Elder beats his wife repeatedly, this was fairly common knowledge.

    2. Wife goes for help and 2 other elders rescue her and the kids (1 pre-school, 1 baby) and drive them out to our house in the country (miles from anywhere - actually was an emergency accomodation community provided by the city council for families in distress)

    3. Elder politely asks mum's friend where we live - friend had no idea the wife and kids were with us.

    4. Elder turns up in middle of night and *drags* the wife and children into his car. We have no phone and he's well gone by the time anyone can come to help.

    5. Wife denies everything.

    6. Elder is part of a very large and extremely prominent JW family = no-one will talk to mum, she got counselled for interfering in their relationship.

    He was still an elder - we know that people refused to stay in the Hall if he was giving a talk - until his eldest daughter (now 17 or 18) got disfellowshipped and moved in with her boyfriend, *then* he stepped down.

    What an arsehole.

  • mkr32208

    I faded a few years back but my wife still goes occasionly and even goes out in service sometimes were always treated fine we even get invited to congregation picnics and stuff

  • Mulan
    But those ex-dubs who simply fadeaway can come and go. Semingly they are ignored.

    We are shunned and aren't DF'd or DA'd. I think they just don't know what to do with us, so they shun us. Or "if you run into Dave and Marilyn at the store, and don't know how to act, duck down another aisle."

  • gumby

    Ozzmeister......you need to read this really famous thread started by a real cool guy named Gumby



  • shotgun

    Fear of man and the consequences of disobeying his rules.

    Oz..Many elders have df'd people for doing what their own faded baptized children do.

    I recently had a longtime friend DF'd... the week before he was df'd witness friends and relatives visited him and carried on like nothing was wrong, this despite the fact that he had stopped going to meetings several months ago and was now living in a commonlaw relationship.

    He underwent a messy divorce to his former JW wife a few years back after she left him and the (truth). He went through quite a depression and lost everything and has only gotten his head screwed back on right since meeting this woman but says marriage is not in the immediete future plan.

    The elders showed up unannounced and told him to write a DA letter as it would make it easier for everyone, he wouldn't so they told him to get married or move out. He refused that so they gave him seven days to comply, appeal or be df'd.

    So in the nutshell all those JW's who were aware of his circumstances associated with him until three men who don't know him judged him and labeled him as unfit. Did he change in those few weeks, no he's the same person but now to be seen with him would put these friends and relatives at risk of being df'd as well.

    Can you blame them, I guess not...when we were faithful dubs most of us did the same thing. We followed man made rules and sanctions out of fear, fear of being caught and having an unfit label placed on us.

    BTW...K and V, if you drop by this site...know you are among friends.


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