What Kind of Animal are You?

by patio34 33 Replies latest social entertainment

  • Dirt Rocker
    Dirt Rocker

    Genera and species: Aquila Chrysaetos
    Collective Term: A convocation of eagles

    Universally admired for their soaring spirits, the eagles has a striking presence that exudes a powerful sexual energy. As is typical of bird personalities, their high metabolisms make them edgy and unable to remain in one place for long. These fascinating creatures are natural explorers and traveling is their greatest love; nothing gets their juices flowing more than a flight to an exotic locale.

    Eagles are innate performers, craving attention and hogging the spotlight. But their enthusiasm for life comes at a price. For eagles are always on -- proving tiresome to their families and coworkers. In an interesting illustration of sub-species representation, Madonna is a classic golden eagle personality. Her free-spirited lifestyle, performing talents, and powerful talons have all contributed to her enormous success -- while another accomplished performer -- Sinead O'Connor, with her diffident and flighty style, is an example of the closely related bald eagle.

    Like most bird personalities, eagles tend to be flighty and emotionally jittery. Avoiding committment, they prefer to keep moving, often for no other reason than the sheer joy of exploration. Rarely alighting to integrate with the locals, they are consummate voyeurs and prefer to people-watch with their eagle eyes.

    Their need for freedom makes them difficult creatures to tame, and being comfortable with their own company, find little value in settling down. When they do form relationships though, they mate for life and their strong nesting instincts prod them to find secure places to live. However, when pressured, they will fly the coop leaving only turbulence in their wake, and those close to the eagle know that the best way of maintaining its friendship is to simply let it go and provide a comfortable haven for its return.

  • Dirt Rocker
    Dirt Rocker

    Ok so I lied.... :)

    Genera and species: Equus Burchelli
    Collective Term: A stripe of zebra

    These strong shouldered quadrupeds are closely related to horse personalities. But since zebras have evolved in the competitive environment of the African plains, they've developed a tougher exterior and more aggressive demeanor than their cousins.

    Those that come into contact with the zebra find it to be a powerfully loyal and intelligent friend. Its black and white nature shuns the gray zones of compromise and its decided idealism is incapable of accepting defeat in an argument. Zebras find it difficult to be punctual when it comes to meeting commitments that have little value to them, and close examination of this trait reveals the subtle arrogance that pervades the zebra's personality.

    While its behavior might be construed as selfish, the zebra is generally appalled to discover that others have perceived it to be egotistical. For zebras always expect to be given the benefit of the doubt and are perpetually on the offense when it comes to setting the record straight with regard to their motives.

    Zebras have a tendency to view the world in black and white and have a strong sense of right and wrong. Unlike their horse cousins, they are unwilling to be saddled with the burdens of others and insist that everyone carry his own weight. Their love of debate has them forming friendships with people that hold diametrically opposed views, and their enigmatic personalities contain a well-hidden dark side. When the deeper aspects of the zebra's character surface, it proves to be an interested and interesting partner.

    As is typical of herbivorous personalities, zebras tend to form mixed herds with other grazing animal personalities and these mutually beneficial friendships often extend to business partnerships. Once the zebra's mind is made up, it is difficult to shift its position, which explains its reputation for stubbornness. This reputation is somewhat unfounded however, since the zebra's opinions are only formed after deliberate and logical consideration.

    Don't cross a zebra unless you can match its sharp wit. For although zebras are formidable debaters, they are not necessarily good communicators. The problem is that they get so caught up in what they're saying that they never get around to listening to your views. In matters of intimacy, they reduce discussions to mere exercises of logic, leaving their mates emotionally isolated.

    And yet, underneath this coat of black and white logic beats a heart of pure gold.

    Careers and Hobbies
    Scientist Accountant
    Football referee Legal system

    Basketball Tennis
    Karaoke Horse-riding

  • Badger

    As if you had to ask!

    And I got this on the FIRST try, with honest answers...swear to Dog...

    Genera and Species: Taxidea Taxus
    Collective Term: A cete (pronounced "Set") of badgers

    Badgers are closely related to weasel personalities and share the same range as their cousins the skunks (But I do wear Speed Stick and Cologne). What distinguishes them from their relatives is their extraordinary physical and emotional strength and tenacious approach to life's challenges (Took Finals a week after getting left by the ex). Good looking (yep), small to medium sized individuals(Yep), they walk and talk as if they own the world, and their powerfully built bodies and dominating personalities back down for no one, not even the much larger personality of the lion. Confidently entering the territory of others -- woe betide anyone who blocks their path. (You damn right, motherF#&$^!)

    Like most carnivores, badgers stay in shape with regular physical activity and are well dressed and precisely groomed (But, still kind of fat). They enjoy all sports, and their competitive natures drive them to the limits of their abilities. (Like Texas Hold 'Em) Because of their small size, they sometimes feel the need to assert yourself to gain the respect accorded the larger carnivores (Inferiority complex...hmmm). Badgers do not appreciate unsolicited advice and can be quite rude to those trying to help, often alienating well-meaning acquaintances (I know what I'm doing!). Still, friends are drawn to their capable and protective qualities, relying on them to hold the group together (I'm cuddly, but strong)

    As a hot-blooded mammal, the badger thrives on the excitement of new relationships and sexual conquests (When he gets them...). But this incorrigible flirt and voracious lover (Say Hello to Badger, Ladies!) is untraditional when it comes to matters of romance -- no roses and chocolates for this feisty character (NOT TRUE, I PROMISE!). To celebrate an anniversary, it's more likely to be found climbing a mountain than spending a quiet night at home. When a badger finally does settle down, it usually mates for life and proves to be a passionate and committed partner (Yes, I do). Loyalty is important to the badger and it is quick to demand reciprocation; nothing is more unpleasant than dealing with a badger who feels cheated (Screw me once...). However, partners who manage to accept their intense nature, will experience an exquisite and unrelenting love affair (Badger Luv...).

    Communicating with a badger is often a one-way affair. Its love for debate takes precedence over its desire to really hear what its partner is saying and it tends to dominate discussions with its dogmatic speaking style (I should be a talk show host). Because it will not abide criticism of its behavior, it can prove to be quite insensitive to its mate's emotional needs (Not true, either).

    Famous Badgers
    Matt Dillon (WILD THINGS! YEAH! IN THE DENISE-NEVE SANDWICH!), Joe Pesci (*Puts punks' head in a vice...*), Napoleon Bonaparte ("As great as a man can be without having any virtue" -- Alexis DeTocqueville), Robert DeNiro (YoutalkintoME?), Oliver North (I have to admit...I kind of like that guy, in a G. Gordon Liddy sort of way)

  • Badger

    No, Stef, you ARE a FOX!

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